our goldfish memories
are broken
shattered dreams

of a cabin
in the woods

we scavenged
all we could
-
your mirrored reveries
of gold plates
and sweetened tea

in a palace
in the woods

you shattered
what you could

every time i stop and think,
every time i split my seams,
every time i fall asleep,
i see enemies in my dreams.
i lie awake at night.
to keep away,
from my fate,
to hide,
from my inner face.
and every day,
i doze off.
to alien places,
with evil eyes,
and wicked faces,
to try to stay away,
from my head's unwelcoming voices.
sleep, please keep at bay.
i'm already well aware,
of how afraid i am of the day.
my daydreams turn to nightmares,
and night terrors to reveries.
lines blur, visions cross,
asleep, awake, alive or dead.
and these days,
when i daydream in my head,
it's never felt like such a prison.
at the rate i'm wasting away,
i'll feel more safe,
when i'm closest to dead.
but never, never ever,
asleep in my bed.

you'll try to talk again.
so i can forgive,
and forget, every word you said.

so we can die,
comfortably,
in the crawlspace in my head.

i seat it in the back row
and i try not to stare
but i know that it's there

i'll blame it on the front row
when i don't even care
but i know that it's there

it's creeping in the back row
and i try not to share
but i know that it's there

i guess it's just who we are
i guess i'm worse for ware
and i know that it's here

it takes a seat in the front row
and i can't help but to stare
because i know that it's there

walk with the wind,
against the water's current.
trudge towards your gutter.
***** others in blind hope,
hope to high godless heaven,
that you're mad enough to pass as a purist.
...---...
find your gutter, close the shutters,
hide until the heavy wind deadens.
let your safe haven cave in,
bask in the mindless clutter.
become a fallen angel in your own armageddon.
-
...---...

you're scared.
you're scared,
why are you so scared?
there'd be no problem if you didn't care.