I could write about Brooklyn or Australia like I could write about being happy and complete...
Ive never been there wouldnt that be neat  ....
Sonnet brief memories about the east coast of Canada nights in Victoria or Vancouvers bay....
Like loved ones i feel were taken too quickly away....
Ballads of regret and momentarily held Passion and Lust.....
Now I know the pleas of Apology and Distrust....
I can stare across the Prairie any given night ....
And  with A blanket of stars Above I  know you were right...
So as Im looking up at the northern lights dance....
Feels like the heavens are looking down saying....
"We gave you your chance"........

Set me on fire like the day you stared at me across the rooom...
Gently whisper envious things that no one else will ever hear...
Run from your seat and be safe within my embrace....
Id settle for any one of those moments but dont be worried....
Cause everytime I close my eyes all i can see is your perfect face...
Your the reason I race to sleep and wake up with my eyes full of tears...
I pray I never get the chance to see you again....
But I still cant explain why I love you still  after all these years...

Petals flower born cannot lead you towards myself.. Cocoa boxes and Stuffed childhood Were Lies by Society....
I feel you like entire eclipse grasps the sun .... I would still allow your light to shine through me.....
Gravity is the only paradox of understanding that keeps me grounded when we contend our acceptance...
Id lie and take a million years for the only sure hope in my world full of broken promises.....
And you will never know how i kiss your forehead when you sleep because i hate me weak....
Or when I break at times when i subtlely call my anxiety into question and you answer....
Like every time I stare at myself I tell myself I dont deserve you...
Soo when you finally hold me I fell off my mountain of pride to comfort my inner demons ....
And sometimes I lose myself in you and I cannot shelter the blow to my false comfort anymore...
So chocolate and pretty sonnets hallmark your memories of my love?
Because my heart greatly grew once you only stared into my eyes...
Men dont say that your truley there weakness but Id say you became my strength...
Valentine id talk and take your hand because With every moment your hands in mine....
I realize you were the first love that made me shine....
Love you Babe....

Shelter me like I'm "homeless".......
Not be a use I don't have an address.....
Merely because if home houses your heart....
There is a missing poster on the back of your ***** bottle....
Like the mistake on the bark where I once carved " true love"....
Happiness became of parking lot no occupied by strangers
Like titles reflect the hierarchy of spots closest to your heart
Methamphetamine now occupies the spot reserved for mom, dad and best friend
But time is a magician pulling white rabbits from memories ......
Where your the only audience members and you can only ask "how?".....
But like tricks fade into logic i always see the illusion
And memories become anger against the fraudulent belief in "time"
Grief is not a one night event where disbelief could refund your happiness....
And forgive ushers who now seem more like drug dealers....
Because the best seat they could offer only got you closer to regret
Life is the greatest notice pinned on a corkboard in shady establishments
Where the small print cannot be read at a passing glance
So later on in the alley where you self medicate.....
The dumpster contains the poster you so blindly believed.....
Now you see the possible outcome to the " greatest show on earth".....
Professionals on a closed course...... trained professionals should not be attempted at home.....
And I guess like I already said if my heart is "home".....
Then as an amateur on life's stage I'll leave actors like happiness, success and bliss to wow people at a great expense.....
But like a fool I invested every hope I saved into them.....
Now I'm bankrupt and homeless staring from the alley between life and death...
But the best part about next door is its free....
And must be worth the cost... no one ever seems to come out.....

You bro some **** is better unsaid I won't let loose these words again till I'm dead...
Blood ain't water and no we don't have the same father.....
My life is better when my friend is my brother. ....
I'll protect your mom like she's my mother......
I'll stand at your side till clouds crash down
But I'm glad that you made me finally found....
Much love dog and a gangsta salute
But this shot too sappy shoot
This odd Dave man hit me back jus to chill
You'll listen bout Jim I'll listen bout bill

I'm sorry if I cherished a moment you might have missed
Like all the memories I knew I risked
Caught with open laughter or with closed fists
People all around only kept us ******......
Shadows and light laughter evaded our youth
Grown redemption and nervous acceptance and  truth .....
Lights and carols...... December lies too much....
And only kept sanity provides life's rush...
A dollar a gram couldn't be much cost
But behind the curtains I became lost
Out the window....My  dreams I tossed...
Broken and bent hell born and sent...
Becoming back from Superman to Clark Kent
Desperately trying to Pay  pain for  rent
Outside the only thing that ever meant.......
Safety and warmth.... the place I feel home
Now is a reminder of the place I will never own....
Don't have a number don't try to phone ...
It's better off if ended up all alone

As I stand here with hat flat brimmed
A nervous snicker mistook for a grin
Let the words fall out my mouth past my chin......
I won't  look past the spotlight there is only the dark
Like everyone's vehicles are in overdrive and mines stuck in park .....
It's the handful of prescription pills from someone else
A demon on my chest like you've never felt
A desperate anger that turned way before help
The reason I don't even recognize myself ......
It's been in me for a while it invaded my smile
Turned every forward step into a mile
Beat me up and made me feel like a child. ...
I dare not speak it's name... it turns into a label
Make the society look at me like I'm unstable
And the chance of success is pulled off the table
The enemy is within this clouded reflection
With too many faults I cannot mention
I lol when I hear people say it's all for attention
So with a fleeting glimpse into the hell full of tension ......
Depressed means finally not getting pushed down
Like deflated balloons belong with a clown
So before you go blast my name all over town....
I could be you... you could be me
Walk where I've been see what I see ......
Be truly alone with a room full of "friends"
Is it what makes you happy guess it depends .....
Depression has thousands  in its terrible army
At the end of the day it will only be myself that harms me.......