Drink of it
Drink of it all  

I am but one
And yet it all
  
pulsates
Ebbs, flows
Rearranges, in interlocking
Mechanically organic  
Alien transcendence  

For, What is a mind?
Please, draw it for me  

Who am I?
Eye cannot see.  

We are everything, I am thirsting for a change
I want to live, and I am free to die  

Yet
Yet again
What does yet mean?  

I want to live in every ambient flow
Every vibrating heart that sings,
I want to bask in such a resonance

The slow building pressure of a bountiful harvest
The fast paced, ever changing constant
of a living, thriving metropolis  

I am exhausting myself
Doing nothing
Dreaming of what I could be  

I will cherish my thirst.

a hug for the sad part of my heart
only being able to cry when I feel safe
trusting that you can trust someone



the freedom that comes from knowing

that letting go is opening up
to unconditional acceptance
of self and of other
from self and from other

a ******* arrow of love
piercing through me

finding the haven of the soul
within the chest

when somehow space dissipates

and only love is left
and what is love?

it is not grasping

it is not a kiss
nor a ****
nor a lifetime with one person
who “completes you”

love says
you are enough
you belong in this space

you are worthy of embrace
you are safe

it does not say

you are mine
it says
you are free

you are divine
you are a part of me

because we are all a part
of humankind
and a greater mind

how lost I’ve been

in grappling and coping with hope

how i’ve been found, upside down
suspended by my foot by a rope



seeing the world in a new light
cracking open my mind like an egg

the sunlight splits the mist 

in the real world


just as I peer into the light
of my soul
and you’re there with me
and you’re all there with me

As I walked into the bar there were already tears in my eyes. So much stress. Was I meandering or chasing my tail? I wasn't finding answers, that's for sure. I glanced around, struck with a subtle sense of irony. A few sorry souls sat speckled throughout the dimly lit confines of this stuffy, run down establishment. You'd think they'd have the means to keep a place like this in ship shape, here, considering the nature of spirit. Anything you could imagine, freely given, when the soul should rise... Maybe it was just a load of ****. I took a seat in a corner at the far side of the room. I didn't know how I'd arrived here, but I had no intention of leaving. I was too exhausted. Life had had a tendency to beat me down. I felt battered and bruised. I felt as if I'd been flattened by a steam roller. I always used to say I was tired to my soul; I hadn't realized I was speaking literally. It wasn't long before I was approached by a waiter. All dressed in white, save for a black tie. An amorphous effusion of light and shadow erupting from the place where one's neck should be. A piercing whisper, vibrating through my skull.

"Can I get you a drink?" it.. said.

I was a bit dumbfounded. It hadn't occurred to me until now that this place may actually serve alcohol. Did I even have a body? Regardless, I don't drink.

"I don't drink."

The haze blobbed and bobbed, and ebbed in mirrored tension, as if shaking its head from side to side.

"I think you'll want to try this one." It echoed, sing-songing slow motion distortions directly into the depths of my consciousness.

It was becoming hard to focus. The lines here were, or, are gray. Things bleed between. Every soft, dim light consumed the room. Every noise resounded throughout time. This ideal of a bar, this place where people drink their woes away, stowed away in the afterlife? What must people be trying to forget?

"I don't want to forget." I said. "I learned so much in life. Still, I know nothing. Still I don't understand, but I want to hold onto those lessons. I've left everything else behind."

"I think you'll want to try this one," it reiterated. "Daniel."

It hit me, then. This thing knew all there was to know about me. Not only could it speak into my mind, it could see. This was no ordinary drink, and after all, what did I have to lose?

"**** it," I took the glass from the tray. "I guess I could use a drink."

It looked like nothing more than a shot glass full of water, but as it went down my throat, an unearthly warmth and peace spread through my chest cavity and into my heart. It was the ultimate feeling of pure joy, as if I'd consumed a liquified sun. With my first breath, it made its way into my brain. Stark white, endless plains of emptiness and light. Everything dissolved before my eyes. Cascading was illusion: is illusion. I hovered in the pulse of the everflow.

"How was the drink?"

I needn't even respond. I was awake.

"Ahhh!" I released relief, and let the spirit seep.

I merged with this, the Infinite.  The song of Heaven, I could hear it.  Vibrations of eternity  surrounding me,  and written throughout everything,  the lyrics.   All different pitch  of perfect wave,  resounding to fragment  the quintessence  of this presence  to which I now belonged.   Yet, this energy condenses.  Readministered,  from essence to presence.  A blip within the static of magic.  Eye could not exist,  in reminiscent wishes,  avasting existence.   The depth within the deep  of endless ocean called to me:  to stimulate emotion  in the impartation of separation  from Infinity.   The pull of gravity consumed me.  Here, again, within the fill  of fragrant, illusory "being,"   I live to speak of bleeding  into everything and nothing.

I am in hiding from the unabashed sun

The clouds drift overhead and shade my view

But every time it peeks out from behind

I rear my eyes, I stay inside, 

but through the windows

It tickles my face

Licks at my watering eyes

Laughing at me



I am sad on this beautiful day

I am alone and cherishing things not had
Wishing for a friend

Lively conversation

Beauteous, poetic, saturated melody

To serenade the natural landscape

A sprawling painting

A perfect illustration of untamed uniformity

Alas
I am
Fettered in a box

Rotting away

As my eyes gain weight
but never alleviate

Their dams and turn to drying

I am learning Earth and Water. Trees are experts in mindfulness. They communicate in silence, using psychic vibrations that resonate in communion with the cycles of nature. Offer up to them your presence, and they will reflect upon you their stability and coolness. At our roots we are life itself. I have learned, from the quiet, to love myself as a plant. I need water, light, air and love. Growth is a natural thing. Sustenance is deepest in its simplicity. Human love can be convoluted and strange, forming labyrinths within the psyche. Yet all space, immaterial and material, confounds us with illusions of separation. If I close my eyes, and melt into the quintessence of energy, I become the haze and see beyond seeing; choosing to feel in my heart. This is spiritual water. The mind ripples as thought, distorting the clarity of the endless ocean of energy. This is a stage in the cycle. Being mindful includes acknowledging the noise between silence. If we are to recognize ourselves, we must feel the passing waves of energy; the way they manifest in the formless void as whispers on the canvas of our minds’ eyes. There is no forcing surrender. We must embrace volatility and transience in order to let go.

Bygone years, I’ve lingered, squandered
searching for a sense of self, I’ve wandered
pacing back and forth, no realization
for the time that’s racing by, just tail chasing

I’ve wondered of so many things
the gravity in my heart, so crippling
tearing me apart as I’m still falling
I’ve faced hidden, hellish demons
and my brain, it’s crawling

I wonder if I’m worthless  
shrouded in abysmal night
I haven’t any hope
but I have done away with fright

I have a light of faith
I trust that I will be alright
At times it dims
At times it’s bright  

I’ve left a world behind
as not to be of any mind
so I could find my eyes would shine
sparkling with the endless presence of stars
the vastness and immensity of space
of time beyond a time or place

My heart, it aches
with longing
somehow tied to things of beauty
somehow my love of life
is causing me to feel empty

I am searching for a place where I belong
I am aching to deny myself my need to feel strong
I know that I must carry on
I know  

But I long to be embraced
To be seen
To be known
To be loved

Naked.

To see what you are
you must do the work of shedding
what you are not.

You have buried it, don’t you see?
You have buried it, but it cannot die.

there’s this sense of possibility
but this inner knowing
that I won’t have to fight
for the right to take up space
in the place where I belong

So I’ll let go



i am open to intimacy
but i will not pursue it
i’ll let it pursue me
that’s how i’ll know who really cares

and while I’m here, waiting
i’ll focus on caring for myself

this poem is intentionally bad on purpose

Thou, shall I compare, then,
to a sunmer day?
as that it is that thy art splendiferous in a way of which
i cannot thee abate

so bright is your effusion
that it shines
and they say that it’s light that’s divinely fine

if a red rose can’t be sweet without it’s thorns
your complexion around which all beauty dost be adorned
girl you make me feel so incredibly warm
and fuzzy inside
i don’t need to watch ****

id rather talk to you and i can tell you that that is true
because before we were one and now we make 2
but im so close to you girl i think it might actually be true
we were one all along but now were won that’s new

i know we just met on tinder the other day
but bae
please tell me forever that you will stay

I neither expect nor reject
I’ll just be open to what’s next
Dreams made, believed, come manifest
but only when I let them rest

Investing all my energy in synergy
Aligning with the truth of One reality
Trusting in the plan and what is meant for me
Seeing I’m supported, fulfilled and free

I believe it will turn out as it’s supposed to
so I’m surrendering control and choosing virtue
Spreading love from up above to make the world new
I hope you’ll join me, too

I wake this morning to soft white,

welcoming overcast skies

the wind surge goes to and fro 

misting pitter patterned rain

upon my window pane



Each thrush and intermittent hush

coaxes my heart back to sleep

and after the rock tense stress of yesterday

it’s a well needed reprieve



For someone so prone to noise sensitivity

I sure do love birdsong, and the static

background, whispering wind


even the humming, mechanical noise, in the distance

contributes as an instrument in an unscripted song

and the cars passing by on the road play along



I think about how poetry can be

struggling to unwrap yourself

when you’re all wound up with rope

and ending up tripping

because every one way ties you up another



Or it can be rhythmic and enchanting;

a magical dance with fate and space

where the mind locks in and the heart beats

in tune with passing waves above, around, within

and everything is beautiful til the heart sinks



because it’s frustrating, knowing

some days the ocean fills you up

and you’re levitating

and it’s POWER in its most essential form

choosing you, flowing through you

and nothing can stop the poem from being born



other days, staring at a page

eyes glazed over, heart full of rage

wanting catharsis, fearing art has become

just a sensitive kid who’s afraid to take the stage



don’t look at me, don’t see me, please

if you don’t care, don’t fake it

i miss the days I’d freely say

whatever stole my heart to break it



but don’t forget me, please forgive

i can’t do this alone

i’ve given everything to this

i’ve made this place my home



all the while the funny little mind wanders

casting prismatic pebbles in the dark

for just a glint

whilst the great cosmic laughter erupts

and the hologram blinks

exposing everything
as light

Once, in a dream that slipped away,

the mustered mind could reach

beyond the stars into the dark



But, in this emptiness;

my passion will not even drip

where it once overflowed



Am I condemned to be alone?

Condemned to never know;

to never speak?



Must I toil on

toward not enough

to live a life called worthy?



I am in no hurry

to secure my arrest

in the throes of unhappiness



I’ve watched the world in blur for several years

and all my tears have dried up long ago


The softest glow of consciousness

was once my light through this abyss

but now, 



I am nothing:



a forceless breath attempting

to guide the wind and fill the sails;


a silent shout unending,

no challenge o’er which to prevail



Without poetry

my spirit begins to dwindle



Hope swindles,

wishing suffocates,



and I care not

—dare not—

to dream

the pursuit of happiness rarely ever
feels fruitful to me, as a pursuit, anymore
but when it is acknowledgement of inherent joy,
it is abundant and flourishing,
like sunlight, water, or air

I hold sacred my lack 
as a space to receive;

to grasp the infinite within me.
I will not cling to anything frivolously. 



I’ve spent my whole life waiting
Now it’s time to start creating
and as I bathe in the rays of the sun
I invite light in, to upgrade every cell
so I may swell with the might of the One

Wind-flow shakes and wakes the trees
applauding my awakening
these days have been intense
with every sense enlightening

My body aches with anticipation
of the soul’s profound reintegration
I soften, soften
and begin to open



I do not cry

but my dreams are overflowing

out my eyes, creating a junction

transpiring into a world awaking



I speak in rhythms reverberating

from my deepest soul’s vibration

pleading Spirit set me free

to be and be; be nought but Me

i find myself moved by the beauty and ubiquity of love
eternally grateful for this life and all its feelings
to intimately coalesce with many layers and frequencies
of vibrations of consciousness
and to expand alongside them, relax and welcome grace

i believe that is what it means to be a healer
i am not manipulating energy
i am loving it and seeing it
simply opening myself to be there with it
and experience a transformation to openness

i will not spill or pour my heart out
i will leave it open;
live like a river flowing to the ocean
i will hum with this universe’s rhythms
dance in the elegance of its motions
i will commune with it

i have grown this year from seeing tremendous beauty
in an overarching force of pristine divinity
emanating through the Love vibration unto me,
and feeling blessed to be loved by Love
to finding that very feeling in my open heart,
expressed to this whole, vast and wonderful existence

I will be there with it
I will be there

Can calamity turn to serendipity?
As all should happen with a reason,
could the turnings’f fate
be brought about
to conquer inner demons?

Might we rise, unbound,
in freedom,
as phoenix from ash?

Could inner fire be quashed
to be rekindled?
Are not we unbridled by chance?

Are we yet lost but found
again in our advance?

Where first to swim 
in drifts ‘n dregs, as drags 
of denser things 
should hold fast 
our frail bodies, 
thereupon the first breath 
of earth’s clean air 
are we alight, 
and therein-lightened. 

To start a walk upon new legs,
evolved to live on land
in vague untempered
night and day;
to sleep beneath the stars
and lay away in homes so vast;
so ever layered.

Then should we climb
upon the freest heights,
and rise no further, lest we fly?

Then should we take to falling
just the same, to catch a breeze
and drift away?

He falls awkwardly 

and soon lands 
in a quiet resting place


Every ocean shines 

with music and eddies
I walk close but not close;

deaf and dumb.

To write,
I'm in the starlight


Nothing new has come out yet

The change is small
This charge is not for vandalism

My face was very shocked
I drank the starlight 

and closed the hole in my heart


The light shines
Stars and security
The flowers are blooming
Remove the ice crystals

Big or small,
waves are made with wild hands


He was a water spirit 

and just wanted a home


There is no room in the cup

Low density
slow entropy
expansive ethereal
immaterial inclusive
conducive conclusive
collective perspective

Interjected perplexing
Vexed intensive directive

Perspicacious intonations
repulsed over nullified
Emulsified dry mindless intrinsic duplicitous insistances
redacted and reacted upon retroactively,
in posthumous alacrity,
as backed and packed to me
are primitive tenacities
by classless massless animalistic catastrophes
in baseless traceless
uniformly adjacent replacements

Tasteless abasement
in braced,
placed erasure of nature
Replace her with infrastructure
Good old abundant mother, **** her

I'd love to plug her with rubber
unsung troubles debug her
rewind and entice
and drown and rend blind with devices incisively derisively winding
her planar engagements
to ownership taken
forsaken by god
but we're shaken by odds
of new values in clods
of endowments toward rods of power each hour we glower
and how her entreatment
might trap and devour
if we weren't so clever
we'd sever our heads as we shower
in the ichor of the dead
and instead we're just thicker than blood
with our money and crud
replace water with crude
and a bad attitude

I'd be true to the money
but wouldn't it be funny
if deigned be the dummy
as warless and lost
in the loathesome defrosting
of planetary exhaustion?

Now tell me the cost
of the death and the offing
of all we've been coughing
to the air we've been drawing from
gnawing the earth to her bones
always want some more worth from our home
but it's worthless if we end up alone

Whose ever musing beauty should refrain
To tantamount endurance of lament
When every mounting truth begets in vain
To all but fleeting, ignorant dissent
As promises romantically inclined
Should shower vagrant starlight on your face
But ever shake the beauty of the mind
To flay itself to fortune in disgrace
I chased a home in something never bound
And lost myself to hang upon the hour
I forced my hand to choke when you’re around
To girdle and bestow a broken flower
Yet in the light of new day I attest
That grandeur can be found in simpler things
For at effulgent love’s newfound behest
By synergy, felicity it brings

There is no such thing as the abyss
Static, white noise, information overload
Analysis paralysis
The mind shuts down, but never squanders its supply

I am worn thin
I am overwrought and jaded
Lackluster and swooning for the mist
Yet in the midst of everything, I feel amiss
I am the nothingness that lost its place within the confines of an empty concept
Labeled the ‘abyss’
It does not exist
It is overload and darkness
Stare forever and your brain will short circuit
but leave the lens behind
Retreat into your caves and sleep
And your long exposure will reveal light
Answers
Unlabeled, mysterious and so far out of reach

I am overwhelmed
Distant
A cacophony in deep space
Choking as I gasp for air
Dying, literally dying
To be heard

But I can’t cry anymore
I can’t speak like I used to
Can’t dream at all
I am the abyss
But I am not empty
You simply cannot see beyond yourself
To know what I hold within my depths

On the cusp 

of the dawn 

of a new day,

there is tremendous hope


if this is what death feels like;
the burgeoning light 

of the rising sun 

rolling upon the horizon, 

cascading out over the land, 

my eyes awash with tears and warmth;


is it surrender?

is it trust?
or does one simply 

melt away?

Storms are not born
They are old as light
You cannot have power
but it is harnessed

There is no such thing as a river
but it shapes as it flows
You can only hold your breath for so long

The mind is a sieve
and a lattice
The heart, a prism
and a fathomless ocean

The world is a pebble in that dark;
a nascent dream
There is no loss of innocence
We are eternal, spanning across time

Only the eye knows,
before the mind’s grasp
All else is distorted

Once a flower blooms,
in that moment, it exists forever
There is nothing in creation that can change it
All is forever changed because of it

Power is but a ripple, or an echo
There is only embrace

From the start, we are entwined,
integrated solely with truth
All of life seeks to replicate this intimacy,
but only death can

The moment exists.

Respect does not mean admiration.

There is a conceptual/nonverbal layer of thought, which isn’t necessarily visual.

You may have misconceptions based on your perception.

The universe will give you many gifts just for having good intentions, and aiming to improve yourself.

Everyone is a friend, until they are an enemy.

Sometimes you just have to let go, to let live, to stay still when ensnared in the fire and allow yourself to burn.

You will encounter pain in your healing, to show you how and what to heal.

Sometimes you will unwittingly and unnecessarily impede yourself.

Being happy in spite of everything is a lot harder than being happy because of everything, but it may well be the only way to be content.

Love is not blind. It is gazing upon the sun.

Instant gratification tricks the brain’s reward system; there is no reward without effort and accomplishment. Delay gratification in anticipation of freedom from dependency, as that is a much greater reward than any you could find from within it.

What we want is often at odds with what we need.

If you can be high and tired. You can. Be hired.

Life is like a box of chocolates: someone is probably going to come along and eat all the good ones before you can get to them. Be proactive.

There is value in every aspect of existence.

You will cherish most the things you share with those you love.