As I walked into the bar there were already tears in my eyes. So much stress. Was I meandering or chasing my tail? I wasn't finding answers, that's for sure. I glanced around, struck with a subtle sense of irony. A few sorry souls sat speckled throughout the dimly lit confines of this stuffy, run down establishment. You'd think they'd have the means to keep a place like this in ship shape, here, considering the nature of spirit. Anything you could imagine, freely given, when the soul should rise... Maybe it was just a load of ****. I took a seat in a corner at the far side of the room. I didn't know how I'd arrived here, but I had no intention of leaving. I was too exhausted. Life had had a tendency to beat me down. I felt battered and bruised. I felt as if I'd been flattened by a steam roller. I always used to say I was tired to my soul; I hadn't realized I was speaking literally. It wasn't long before I was approached by a waiter. All dressed in white, save for a black tie. An amorphous effusion of light and shadow erupting from the place where one's neck should be. A piercing whisper, vibrating through my skull.

"Can I get you a drink?" it.. said.

I was a bit dumbfounded. It hadn't occurred to me until now that this place may actually serve alcohol. Did I even have a body? Regardless, I don't drink.

"I don't drink."

The haze blobbed and bobbed, and ebbed in mirrored tension, as if shaking its head from side to side.

"I think you'll want to try this one." It echoed, sing-songing slow motion distortions directly into the depths of my consciousness.

It was becoming hard to focus. The lines here were, or, are gray. Things bleed between. Every soft, dim light consumed the room. Every noise resounded throughout time. This ideal of a bar, this place where people drink their woes away, stowed away in the afterlife? What must people be trying to forget?

"I don't want to forget." I said. "I learned so much in life. Still, I know nothing. Still I don't understand, but I want to hold onto those lessons. I've left everything else behind."

"I think you'll want to try this one," it reiterated. "Daniel."

It hit me, then. This thing knew all there was to know about me. Not only could it speak into my mind, it could see. This was no ordinary drink, and after all, what did I have to lose?

"**** it," I took the glass from the tray. "I guess I could use a drink."

It looked like nothing more than a shot glass full of water, but as it went down my throat, an unearthly warmth and peace spread through my chest cavity and into my heart. It was the ultimate feeling of pure joy, as if I'd consumed a liquified sun. With my first breath, it made its way into my brain. Stark white, endless plains of emptiness and light. Everything dissolved before my eyes. Cascading was illusion: is illusion. I hovered in the pulse of the everflow.

"How was the drink?"

I needn't even respond. I was awake.

"Ahhh!" I released relief, and let the spirit seep.

I merged with this, the Infinite.  The song of Heaven, I could hear it.  Vibrations of eternity  surrounding me,  and written throughout everything,  the lyrics.   All different pitch  of perfect wave,  resounding to fragment  the quintessence  of this presence  to which I now belonged.   Yet, this energy condenses.  Readministered,  from essence to presence.  A blip within the static of magic.  Eye could not exist,  in reminiscent wishes,  avasting existence.   The depth within the deep  of endless ocean called to me:  to stimulate emotion  in the impartation of separation  from Infinity.   The pull of gravity consumed me.  Here, again, within the fill  of fragrant, illusory "being,"   I live to speak of bleeding  into everything and nothing.

I merged with this,
the Infinite.
The song of Heaven,
I could hear it.

Vibrations of eternity
surrounding me,
and written throughout everything,
the lyrics.

All different pitch
of perfect wave,
resounding to fragment
the quintessence
of this presence
to which I now belonged.

Yet, this energy condenses.
Re-administered,
from essence to presence.
A blip within the static of magic.

Eye could not exist,
in reminiscent wishes,
avasting existence.

The depth within the deep
of endless ocean called to me:
to stimulate emotion
in the impartation of separation
from Infinity.

The pull of gravity consumed me.
Here, again, within the fill
of fragrant, illusory "being,"

I live to speak of bleeding
into everything and nothing.

I am rebirthed
in the sanctity of spirit
in rivers flowing
through my very being

channels clear
with an oomph!
whenever will works
worlds quake
in the wake of waves

erupting


spilling over

geysers plummeting
cascading a flood of 

ae (the) r



condensed in my crystal moon
emanating holographic light
that purifies the mind
and reignites

the flame of heart



clarity in microcosmic synergy
which permeates infinity
through fractalescent pockets
spiraling intricately 

into oblivion



from heaven’s highest branches
to the densities of roots
beneath the light of life



the world tree holds cosmos
identical to energetic outlets
effusing spiritual light
within our very vessels



we are 
mirror images
forever 

holding hope 

in our depths



an ever expanding accordion 

of intimate individuation
in unfolding fragments

forming frameworks for fate



so severnot the swell

plummet me, nought,
unto hell

nay, away into my shell



herein I reside
evermore, but never;

bide I, aligned

parallel or right inside
the flow of home
bestowed in mine
dissolved

and unconfined

even in the midst
of loneliness

and death
I feel not
bereft



I know
my nature beckons
in the reckoning of heaven
within, without, about
the energy of everything
reiterated in me

colors bleed in memories
like submerging my mind underwater
swimming in an ocean of tears

is it haze
or does the light not reach
this deep?

Sharp memories
pierce the mind
sunlight pierced a cloudy sky
the wind blowing swiftly through my free flowing hair
it would be a lie to say i lived without a care
but you were there
and I was happy

we’d walk
no day too hot or cold
just to breathe in everything
we’d become accustomed to the company
of one another’s languish

though, stuffy it could get
within the confines of each other’s
hot heads
full of pressure

venting fumes into the atmosphere
surrounding our bodies
pressed tightly to each other
almost fusing

now, liquid pale reflections
in a bucket full of silver
when the spirit slips
a viscous wisp

into, white blue
pools of you
i trip and wobble
surface tension breaks

i dissolve
in reminiscence
sunfire reverie
cautiously swallowing smoke
i hold my breath

and seek to saturate my blood
with the fading echoes
of an ancient, timeless reunion
thereupon the rolling ghost

in silent semblance, reflection;
an interpretive dance
of two flames flickering
in tandem



to imitate the birth of the universe
the swallowing of nebulae in
whirling, cataclysmic implosion
we’d inhale the gasping sigh of spirit

how fragrant, once, was emptiness
now I see the difference