The fog hides the view
And lies hide the truth.
Trapped in both,
You flounder around,
Mirages cloaking you.
No matter how much you
Struggle,
You can't live if the
Veil remains.
Kick it, beat it,
Yell, scream.
It will still never be enough.
Once you have been
Free,
Mirages lose their enchantments.
Break out.
You can't see the world
Around you
If you're trapped
In a cloud.
If you know the truth,
The truth will set you
Free
Because you aren't forced
To rely on the perceptions
Of others.
They may be just as
Deceived and lost.

Polka dot trees
They're supposed to be cedars
A collage for my mother
For Christmas Day.

Asleep on the sofa
You wait for me
Quietly breathing
You give yourself away.

I could be painting
But it's four in the morning
The day that awaits me
Is silently dawning.

We'll drive to my parents
I finish this there
Sleep is impatient
In its persistent glare.

Goodnight to the bakers
Goodnight to the bells
Goodnight to the sleepers
In their comfortable cells.

We've done this before,
You and I

I mean, it wasn't
You and it never
Has been before but
The spirit never changes

When you look at me
I feel faint and
It's all I can do
To go to that spot where
We first met in hopes
Of finding you again

I don't know your name
Because our meeting was
Fleeting but maybe we
Could fix that, someday

Or not

I must get up and take my pills
But I have to dress and go downstairs.
This is a bed day. A head day.

I must get up and eat something
But I haven’t the strength today
I haven’t the will today.

My get up and go got off at the last stop.
I didn’t let it go,
Wasn’t my choice.

This thing’s in control of my every fibre
Head pounding, stomach on fire
But I’m healthy in body not in mind.
A simple decision is taking an hour

This pain in my head,
Keeping me indoors instead.
Invading my dreams,
Brain bursting at the seams.

Focus on one thing,
No, not that sting.
Now I feel I could sing,
Look at my wedding ring.

So lucky to have found a wife,
Amazing she chose to stay in my life.
All the cross-words and strife,
That time I picked up the knife…

Wish I’d stayed in bed
Wish I’d no sore head.
Think I’ll have tea,
Will she make it for me?

I can’t decide today
Do I ask her to stay?
Make them all go away,
This pain is here to stay.

We are critical.

We find flaws in
everything we see
because nobody
wants to write
about perfection,
even though sometimes
we wish we could just stay
staring into that
unblemished surface.

2. We are never satisfied.

We live our lives upon
mountains of
scrunched up
bits of refill and
ideas we gave up
trying to
express.

3. We never forget.

We write words about
eye contact made
three months ago
that we replay over
and over in our minds
even though it
stopped
being relevant.

4. We are fickle.**

Our emotions flash
from one
to the other
like strobe lighting that
disorientates us
until we feel as if
the world
will never be still.

5. We are exposed.

We don't know how
to keep our feelings
to ourselves so
we'll write them
down for
you to find
'accidentally'.

6. We are vulnerable.

We wear our
hearts on our sleeves
and won't lift a
muscle to fight back
if somebody tries
to break it
because we thrive
from the pain.

7. We will never stop.

We will never stop
feeling and
we will never stop
hurting,
we will never stop
breaking and
bleeding and
loving
even though the cycle
is endless
and we know what's
coming next.


We are addicted
to agony,
but we agonise
for the art.

Where have the days gone,
Where I used to say  "I love myself”

Where have the days gone,
Where I used to smile, everyday.

Where have the days gone,
Where everyone used to be by my side.

Where have the days gone,
Where his  smile belonged to me.

Where have the days gone,
Where my life wasn't breaking apart, piece by piece.

Where…