You left in the morning in a daze
I stayed waiting for you in a haze
Made promises you said you’d be back
It’s been 2 years no looking back.

Showed up in a dream you said you were close
Finishing up school and work and chores
I don’t even know you anymore
But you keep your promise and me on my toes.

I loved you when I didn’t understand you wholly
I wanted you when you were broken completely
But you made a choice to go back and leave
Left me crying and calling out in a heave.

Now you said you’d be there when I’d come too
It’s been a minute I don’t know what to look for in you
Been a great friend, a great ally
Seen you walking looking back at my side
Maybe you never forgot who I was
But you’re starting to look like I don’t even know who you was.

Bring back the higher note, the old soul
Bring back the promise that you made in your past
Four folds ago
Four years ago
It’s been just minute longer than before
Maybe I’d remember when you return
Why you left to earn
And didn’t come back in turn.

He didn’t see me
I’m depressed
He sees me smiling,
I’m repressed.
I wanted to be his only one
He said stay blessed
But I’m the only one
Cleaning up this mess

He didn’t love me to leave her and be mine
He didn’t want me for more than half time
He kept switching and kept coming back and forth
He kept playing and leaving me in limbo
I stayed true to him, I never lied
Why can’t he see me be by his side
This half baked love has a shelf life

I tried my hardest to make him be mine
He just didn’t see me in that light
Good for a side, good for a small time
Never enough to be his life
Wife. He never cared to live up to his promises,
It’s true, I’m not turning into his wife
He never loved nor he cared
It is beginning to become a hard life.

I’ll leave him, I’ll move on to better skies
No more internalising his lies
I wanted love and security
This was turning a difficult time.
I’ll be gone, I promise I won’t pine
He is the last person who could be mine
Don’t need him, don’t care
Walking out is better than living a stupid lie.

My broken heart is in pieces
Got a missing piece too
It’s beyond repair,
It turned black
Had so much love which felt green
Now the glass is shattering
Everything turning blue and black

Reminiscing the good times that felt fatal
Remembering the memories of him
Oh so unstable
Had a niggling feeling
Couldn’t catch the onset becoming
Possessed with demon blood
I hate that I’m ugly beyond repair
My heart sings the songs of the fallen
I hate that it’s breaking up
Whatever was befallen

I can’t run or hide away from this feeling,
It’s the last of humanity dealing
I can’t finish the crossed line
I’m becoming the demon that which I am dealing.
Rescue me no man coming
I’m unbecoming the version that cried to god
But no one came nor they stayed
It was a one man job.

Help me there is no resolution
I have been and un-been
Feeling gratuitous from the moment the flesh erased to the glass skin.
I will go down and under
Lost in the sea of monster
If this is the end, let me be
An uncaring **** stirrer.

I can’t bare weight to these bearings
Followed me down bare things
Showed me a glass half empty-
Waited to be half full by me.

I lost words in translation
I became a killer instead
Wanted him to save me
I failed to save myself instead.

Coming down with a fever
Knowing I won’t ever be her
It kills me to find my destiny
Is far away from humanity.

I wanted it all and got nothing
But shame and guilt and sorrow
And sometimes all too slow in the morrow
Killing me with spears
like icy daggers to the chest,
Wondering did I leave my best to rest.

I can’t be the only one who messed up
Prim and proper people repel me like
A magnet that’s broken but pretty and smashed up
They see my flaws and judge me, change me, or ignore me.
I can’t be arsed to give two ***** already.

But icy daggers make me bleed purple
With veins in shock with blue so casual
I feel wounded and wound up
Found no ways to half it up.

Glass half full is still half empty
I learned it the hard way through penalty
I can’t change my past and swallow my future
It’s time I learned new tricks to become a preacher.

I feel you in my arms
Even though you’re not here
I feel a niggling in my neck
Even though you kiss isn’t for real
I love watching myself imagine
How you would feel near
I love making up stories
Of when you’d be here
I miss your voice and your tongue
Don’t know which one will click here
I love the scarlet fever I ran
Just to hold you near
Come be here to feel me breathe
Hold me close I intend to be
With you forever near and dear.