You weren't just a chapter in the story, you were the whole **** novel.

You meant so much to me,
I still write of you in journals.

I once smoked dope like the Vatican was made of ***** and I was the Pope. I've had *** with too many women, even I know, but I hide behind a faux  sincerity, like I belonged to the Sinatra's.

I came into this world with another soul, but I wonder in what fragment of time will I go. If life were a height, I've jousted it with a pole. Close to loosing it all, and just as close to a perfect score.

We walk a thin line of one or the other, singing songs of love, and the absence of love. Powered by our want to accomplish something bigger than flesh and bones.

I will starve my ego, and feed my soul, I will forgive myself for the things I've done without control.

I thought it wouldn't affect me,
I thought it would just forget me.
But, here I am, deficiency.

I used to come in plenty,
But bulk was never break.
My heart never ached.
But, here I am, broken.

I was an easy read,
the pages were never torn.
The words were never worn.
But, here I am, loosely.

I had a world to give,
my own little placement.
I'd invite you back..

But, even I left it.

everyone's deep sea fishing,
but i'm out here deep sea wishing,
selling my heart,
and i don't make commission,
feeding off all my superstitions,
like knocking on wood,
will give me the goods,
like i deserved it,
like i did something and it was worth it.
i built a foundation,
possessing mad ambitions,
with a lack of love is malnutrition,
withdrawals and i'm itching.

Everything you say, and everything you do finds it's way to waters,
I want to swim in you.

I want to drown there, I want to gasp for air, pulled down into your soul,
let my body go.

I want to fear all your terrors, swim with your sharks.
Haunted by danger in your waters dark.

I want to follow the fish, like dreams you once had,
but just like the fish, you remain to resist.

I say that I am over you,

but with a few drinks I'm on top of you,

and while things are getting heavy,

I pray this time you won't regret me.

I view the pictures, and crave your motion.
Filled with poison longing for potion.

One more night with your passion.
I ignore the pain as it comes in crashing.
Images of your crooked teeth pulling in the pillow sheets.
Clinging onto me while the rest of the world is fast asleep.

Long nights with lust, and mornings you always leave.
Heavy breathing, but your heart never skipped a beat.

The love I felt piled in heaps.
It was an emotion I kept inside, and left unseen.
Praying that if you felt the same way you would confess to me.