When I write
you don't reply.
When I call
you ignore me.

When I think of you
I know you're not thinking of me.

I feel like I wasted
enough time.
I want to not need you
anymore.

Tie me up
with a bright red bow.
Go and tell them all
how much I did not know.

Place pebbles on my lids,
with bright blue eyes to stare.
Find and reveal my children
in galaxies of dreams I could not bear.

Wrap my blue body, tight,
for the red fire to burn.
Put me in the heat, white,
so I can finally take my turn.

But, please remember...

...cover my wrists;
just knot silk around them; red with ties.

...cover my scars
so no one may
know
I wanted to die.

I smiled for the first time in a year
the day I met you.

I laughed for the first time in a year
the day I told you about him.

I giggled for the first time in a year
the day I fell in love with you.

Yes,
life with you is fun.

You feel like home to me.
You feel like waking up on a Sunday and the first thing you hear
is precious raindrops on the roof.
You feel like poems and songs coming to life.
You feel like opening a new book
and drinking in the scent of the pages.

You feel like walking into an old friend
on a Saturday afternoon.
You feel like babies giggling;
sunlight filtering in between curtains, drawn.

You feel like sweaters and woollen socks.
You feel like inching my little finger towards yours,
as popcorn and big screen movies take over our souls.
You feel like an accidental brush of skin between lovers.

You feel like fresh linen against soft skin.
You feel like coffee on the porch with family.
You feel like my first kiss under the stars.
You feel like my eyes seeing the setting sun.
You feel like an ocean breeze playing with salty hair.
You feel like warm smiles and loving embraces.

You feel like exciting nights between newly-weds.
You feel like swinging higher and higher,
until your stomach fills with winged creatures.
You feel like leaves turning green; blossoms blossoming.

You feel like milkshakes and first dates.
You feel like tea with honey and roaring fires.

You feel like I will be drinking
you in
for the rest
of our lives.

I am here and I am with you.
It's silent and quiet
with our heartbeats
syncronised.

It's me and you,
light and dark,
in a world seemingly
made for us.

It's us and them,
life and loss,
combined in a
perfect circle.

It's new and fresh.
It's old and familiar.
It's us.

And I am so happy
I didn't die
before I met you.

It's me loving you.
It's you caring for me.
It's both of us,
finally finding
what our souls
longed for.

I think I'm ready for this.

I would like to be only yours.

There was a time when
guys like you
scared me.

So sweet and innocent
with a love that broke
through my walls
at a moment's notice.

I would walk into your eyes
and I would see my stars align.
I would run away from your touch
but your absence made me feel lost.

There was a time when
guys like you scared me.

So loving and good for me;
with a soul that replenished mine.

I would be caught unaware
by one of your longing stares.
I would notice your goodness
penetrating my brokenness.

I want to stay
but I only know how to run away.

There was a time when
guys like you scared me.

So beautifully whole and pure,
with a heart that loved silent conversations.

I would leave your embrace
with thoughts that saw
me through the night.

There was a time when
guys like you scared me.

...But recently I have seen me open
doors to let you in;
dusting shelves
that have long been forgotten.

So I would like you to know,
I'm not scared anymore...

The first time I saw you was nothing special.
We greeted each other.
We smiled politely
and exchanged names.

But then I saw you again
and my world shifted.
You brought on change
with a single name.

I want to know you
so that I can never forget you.

Because I breathed deep
for the first time
in a long,
drowing,
suffocating,
airless year.

I saw light for the first time
in a really long while.
I was screaming soundless tears.
And for the first time
in my weirdly extraordinary life,
I was heard.

You ease my heartbreak.
You give me life.
I just need one more thing:
all of you, for forever.

I want your naked, bare, raw self;
I will love every bit,
until my last breath.