Living for the highs,
And dying with the lows
It's artistic, how it flows
Unconditionally, with time
Everyday a change
Yet uncomfortably the same
Leaving fleeting feelings
Of guilt and love
And the question
"What will tomorrow bring?"

The skies are grey
The curtains blue
bed sheets white
and scrub sets seal
no phone, no tv
no outside for me

i’m in four walls
where it’s actually
the safest place to be

this tides not calming
keep it coming
the waves are rising
keep it coming
the undertows taking
keep it coming
it has me leaving

you are a very handsome man
with a lovely set of eyes
you know exactly when
to touch my thighs

and yet the way you stand
so humble and secure
you’re something, that’s for sure
you’re a very kind man.

any lady would be luck to have
any girl i know would be jealous
of this thing i have for
this thing between us

you’re a lovely person, sir
i sincerely hope you know that
i don’t want to hurt you
& i’ve begun to open up to you

i’m glad i have because you’ve
thrown no red or yellow flags
in fact, you remained calm
& tried the best you can

I hope to keep this going sir, all
these happy thoughts and
perfect dollar cards about
cats and magic hats
& i can’t forget this kit kat.

i have a nice apartment
two beautiful cars, a loving mom
and caring friends
ones that have
bent over more than once, more
than what i ever would have thought
they would just make sure i could
still stand on somewhat solid ground
looking to be found
i’m not really sure
if it’s by me or someone else
but, ****, it seems like hell

standing here alone and looking out
at all these people who care about me
yet i still feel like a burden
sometimes it’d be easier
if they’d shut the curtain
if they’d closed the doors
and let me be the girl outside
still looking for her way

i picked you up and sang this sweet melody
to you here instead of through the telephone
you my girl deserve a smile
that’s so genuine
it will make all the others cringe
with envy at the thought
of you and me ending up
to be the two best friends
either of us could ever have

There’s times when I wish I forgot
everything you said
and everything you did
the times when i end up like this
with other people seeing all the
hurt you did
- just as i was a kid -
Now, I’m 24, i’m in a psych ward
thinking this is all my fault
I should have been powerful enough
to make all these words and thoughts stop
I’m here and I don’t want to be
but there’s nowhere safer from you
      - and your destruction
I guess there’s no better way
to remove all the thoughts of betrayal
I wish you were just washed away
with the dirt on the your porch
but instead i’m still lingering
locked down with this burnt out torch.