I want to hear memories of last night in the rasp of your voice.

The music is what changed me.

The music didn’t just dance in my ears

It pulsed through my veins

It ran with my blood and took me to the sky

The bass didn’t just shake the car

It rattled my bones

It vibrated in my chest and jumpstarted my heart

It helped me to live again.

With every look from your green and red eyes

My heart flutters

Like the wings of the butterflies 

In my stomach

Drawing circles on your arm…

Tracing figure eights that become smaller and gentler as I make my way to your hand

I look over and I see your left hand leave the wheel 

You try to hide that you’re wiping away the trails of your tears

But I know you see me looking. 

I can tell that this song means more to you each time we listen to it

Maybe it’s the melody

Maybe it’s the lyrics

Maybe it’s because I am singing along,

Singing to you

That I know every word 

That it is obvious how many times I have listened to this song just to get the lyrics right

How many times I’ve fallen asleep with this song buzzing through my headphones

And my veins

How many times I’ve cried to this song because of how relevant it is to us

And our situation

Our unfortunate lack of time

I get cold sweats when I think about leaving you
I try to cope with the rush of emotion
The jumble of sadness and frustration and anger
I struggle for a moment when the thought crosses my mind
Comprehending our goodbye is impossible
Not being with you is unfathomable
I just thank you for giving me your music
And therefore your soul
Whenever I listen to the same songs that have fluttered in your ears and swirled around your head
I can feel you close to me
A piece of you is near
And it becomes easier to stand not being next to you on our sleeping bag under the stars
It makes it so that this quilt on my bed is enough to keep me warm
At least for the time being