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 Jul 2014
Daylight 4U2C
I was gone for a long time now,
stuck in a hole.
It was all pitch dark,
seeping unknown evil.
But I crawled back home,
under the flooding smoke.
I destroyed the creatures,
though my lightsaber broke.
Holding tight to it's handle.
In my hand,
the smell of iron,
may last forever.
And the pictures
that led crispy burnt bits to fall here,
were burned in the fire,
of my will,
strength;
desire.
I am not who I was,
but I am fresh.
like new car,
and my brain has been washed.
It's not bad.
It's better.
I'm glad,
and I will never
ever
fall
so deep
again.
I will never
ever
walk away
in the end.
 Jul 2014
Daylight 4U2C
To those who hate us,
and don't know why.
To those who love us,
and try not to cry~

Given a seal,
molded in fate.
Not infinite.
So cruel, but unchanging.

It is not simply a seal
which will bring sorrow,
but all same the letter.
The letter of whom.
The letter of when,
where,
what,
why.
Assimilating to feel as if a scroll,
when set in rewind.
Molded in thus fate.
Fate is not the seal,
but the mold to which create.
Fate being start.
Fate is not the end,
but the beginning.
What you make of the beginning,
is solely yours to make,
while it will be the final impression,
upon the seal.
Upon the letter
unchanged,
but not unchangeable.
And done away,
or kept by side,
to live on as the end of ending.
I was influenced by The Fault In Our Stars to write a poem about dying of cancer.
If you understand it, it makes sense.
 Jul 2014
Daylight 4U2C
I don't want to die.
I won't die.
I don't want to disappear.
I've already been there.
Just having a strong conflict inside,
because I don't want to exist here.
 Jul 2014
Daylight 4U2C
It tears the border,
like an army of sunken ships and color in the blank seas
It tears the heart,
like a bullet rushing to the finish line but always paused in motion.
It tears the life,
for g-d knows what life truly is.
It tears the thoughts,
for cracked vases do shatter.
Beneath the cold and rough hands,
of broken and battered.
It is skilled.
It tears everything.
Shatters them completely,
until dust is left in each place.
Would 'obliterate' be a good choice of word?
Perhaps 'traumatize',
since that is what happens when 'it' is all over.
And what brings this?
Life.
Life must come,
only to take.
One more is one less.
Leaving the effortless life-taking to be the simplest choice.
It is skilled.
It has you believing ropes and knives are friends.
Knives numb the pain.
So do pain-killers.
As does the stinging of a ringing in your head,
from what you thought would be a simple escape to Neverland.
Ropes bring emotional and physical pain.
Then the walls have holes,
and the scars burn in the rain.
They say,
"Don't do it!
There's a better way!"
Yet they never seem to say,
"It's a illusion that takes you farther from where you wanted to be,
and it gets complicated."
It is skilled.
It tears the little hairs from your head.
It tears the children sleeping in bed.
It tears the words you can't unsay.
It tears the people,
who never seem to stay.
It tears a hole in your gut.
It tears a penny in an empty cup.
It tears until you don't look up.
It tears like a river, moving quick.
It tears and stabs, as it is slick.
It is skilled.
It should be feared.
Living on the brink of "where am I?"
And "whose body am I in?"
There you wonder if everything you've done is a sin.
Alas you don't expect to be forgiven.
In your mind,
you've already sinned,
so you figure you may as well give in.
Wrote this a long time back. Found it in a draft and decided to fix the grammar.
 Jul 2014
Daylight 4U2C
Screaming in horrid, agonizing pain.              |
I start to wonder if I've gone insane.                 |
Can someone tell me how to wreck this train. |            
I need to stop turning good people to grain.    |            
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Telling myself I've got a problem.
Too much pride to ask the doc.
Calling from my man-made cage,
while steadily, clicking the lock.

I need a release,
the hot air just grows,
if I don't blow up,
I may start to float.

Maybe it's heartburn,
maybe the headache will go,
but inside I tell myself,
"you're faking, you know."

A shudder down my back,
I'm holding in a scream,
but I don't need to turn around,
to know I'm afraid of nothing.

I can tell you more and more,
than you thought I'd ever know,
but when it comes to  happy endings,
I cling to let everything go.
 Jul 2014
Daylight 4U2C
If I remember every moment,
then I die every day.
 Jul 2014
Daylight 4U2C
I'll be hopeful     for you,
and strive on      for you.
But I'll think      for me.
I will breathe     for you;
have a heart, so true  
                -If it weren't for you, I'd have no reason to-

You pain doesn't hurt for me.
and I won't cry or bleed.
I'll smile happily 
                                              
         ­                                    ...but I will not agree..

— The End —