”Tell me about love.”
I can define it,
I can recommend books,
I can list the symptoms and effects,
I can prattle off agape, philios, storge and eros.
I can recite a poem, or a sonnet by Shakespeare,
but
I
can’t
describe
it.

“Tell me about loss.”
I can see it,
I can observe it,
I can sympathize with it,
I can parrot motivational phrases,
I can list coping mechanisms and techniques,
but
I
can’t
mean
it.

“Tell me about life.”
I live it,
I know of it,
I can speak of its origins,
I can tell stories of its endings,
I can watch it go by, try to find meaning in it,
but
I
can’t
embrace
it.

i've had wild turkey-
kinda gamey
but it'll do in a rush

i've had jim beam, too
along with a little kush

but- jack daniels kicked my ***
and knocked me on my ****


this thanksgiving
i'm going with plain old turkey
cuz i'm smarter and braver

if god will only grant me the serenity.

11/27/14

She's right smack dab
                in the middle of it
They are bombing all her neighbors

Why?

As I sit here feeling helpless

Useless

There is nothing I can do

Here

So far away from

There

So far away from her

There there my new found friend
My love
My dream

I have prayed for your safety
I have prayed to Yahweh
I have prayed to Abraham
I have prayed to Jonah

I pray to them all that God
will save you

It is all I can do
So all I do is
Pray
and hope that God can hear me

I misinterpret the little things you do
because I want so badly to believe
that you feel the same way that I do
So I magnify every tiny detail,
every act of kindness
to be an act of love
or longing
because that's what I feel
So every smile you send my way
every time you ask me to lunch with a group of friends
every goodbye hug
means so much to me
but is probably pointless to you

I misinterpret the little things you do
because I've never been in love
I don't know what it's like
to care for someone
and have them care for you
but I think
maybe I could be in love with you
So every brush of your arm
every hand you give to help me up
makes me sink deeper into longing
but is probably pointless to you

I misinterpret the little things you do
because my ego is simultaneously so inflated
and so small
I can't decide if what I'm thinking
is how you actually feel
or my feelings
reflected onto you
Each shared laugh
each fleeting glance
Is so confusing
I turn in circles trying to figure out what's right,
what's really going on in your head
And nothing has ever been
so meaningful to me
but I know
it's probably pointless to you

I do not write because my poems are good
Nor do  write to truly feel
I merely write because I have worth
In these words that are so real

I don’t consider myself a great writer
And I don’t write as a simple pass time
I write because I define myself
In every syllable and every rhyme

I write because I live in words
And breathe in each sentence
And honestly it brings me peace
To write of my repentance

I think that pain is easier to speak of
When I don’t have to use actual words
And people listen a lot better
And my statements don’t go unheard.

Writing my only escape
From the sadness I always dwell
And writing my happiness
The only way to reverse this spell.

I write because its right
I do it because I know I was meant to
I write so my brokenness isn't forgotten
I truthfully write for you.

For
eveRy piece of me
gAve up on
everythinG
I* ever thought
couLd
b*E

When we are taught about bullying
The dangers and costs
We are told the consequences
What can be lost.

So I vowed to help others
Through thick and thin
And promised to never
Break open my skin

We are told to get help
To find someone to trust
We are told to survive bullying
That is a must

But what if the person
You loved most
Betrayed you
And became a ghost

I let her down
I wasn't there
I cry every month
Pulling at my hair

Thinking about her success
In something I'll never be able to do.
Who knew my mind
Could be a bully too.

How can you run away
From an ***** inside
That terrorizes you
Until you want to die.

I can't run away
I have no choice
But to pick myself up
And try to clear my voice

But things are harder to clear
When you face them alone
I have no real friends
I face the world on my own.

My voice grows tired
From my screams and internal cries
My brain makes me scared
To go to sleep every night

I'm always forgotten
Or in the way
Who knew my most feared bully
Would be here to stay

I've tried to run away
But there's no escape
I think about the jump
Taking a leap of faith

Into a world with no light
Just pitch black everywhere
Until my heart speaks its voice
And realizes it doesn't want to be there

My most feared bully
The worst of them all
Will continue to beat me up
Until I fall

I may be quiet
I may soon fall
Because my brain has turned
Into the most feared of them all