When I'm trying not to be petty.
As my heart hemorrhages at the
thought of true love.

Seeing your happiness is just a
knife in the back.
But it's comforting to know,
I was your stepping stones.

Even if I never feel again.
At least,
I can say I felt.

Swimming upstream
against the current
Of a bad dream.

Reality isn't set in stone.
It's more or less a tone.
A calm flicker of light.
In the fight of your life,
are you winning?

I should be happy for you
but I'm not.
I should congratulate you
but I won't.
I should let go of you
but I can't.

I guess, I'm just petty.

What's it feel like?
To have the wonder of love,
shine a light.
On your haunted heart.
Wouldn't it be wonderful?
To feel so alive and full.

Just lay me down
In your bed of lies.
Look me deep into my bedroom eyes
and off the lights.
So I can wear my disguise.

The truth never comes out in the dark.
That's why we've chosen to be blind.
We're content,
paying no mind.

And we're not okay.
Okay?

Even if you don't exist.
The idea of you,
has kept me going.

Even if it's lackadaisical
with a heavy helping of delusion.
It's better than nothing.

If only you could love me.
The way,
I would love you.
I wouldn't be sitting here
surrounded by flower petals and false hope.
Alone in my thoughts, I've found the garden to be the loneliest of places.

I've carried your worry
for so long.
I'm starving for ambivalence.

In a dog eat dog world.
There are no winners.

Only cannibals.

We are the hive mind.
A collective of self depravity.
Wrapped up in Pandora's box.

Like ants climbing into their hill
Descending deeper and deeper into the hell they've created.

Are we any different?

Compliments are just friendly reminders; that the mirror and our thought are both compulsive liars.
Sent from the depths of hell
to drag us back down with them.
We're smiling through our tears.
But for what?
At least we're okay, right?
I don't know who's real anymore.

Freedom is just a word most of us can't afford. .
It really only happens when you have a fat stack.
These days freedom is taking whatever you want and ******* over, everybody else.
In whatever position you'd like.

Love's just the lightening in a bottle.
The wonderful electricity that powers our beating hearts.

Life could be so wonderful, if you'd quit breaking my circuit.

I'm playing with your mind games.
But I'm losing every time.
You act like such a monster.
I just want to call you mine.