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 Oct 2019
Alec Astaire
Are you proud of me darling
That I didn’t give into the flesh
Even with those pills popped
Her pants dropped
I still had the fortitude to deny her requests

And in that moment I was so high
Off of prescriptions I was too drunk to pronounce
I think they were hydro- wait
hol-holdup
hold on a secontt
No, I can stand just give me a-
I’m not even that draank calm down

Even with the room spinning
My consciousness fading
My heart closed my eyes and turned me around

Sweetheart are you proud..
That the list of my goals and ambitions
Is stained by your lipstick
To be honest, all of my dreams are too hard to see through these rose colored glasses
But they’re my greatest asset
And if I ever removed them...
Even just to catch up on some sleep
I might give up.
I might give up on you
and my family and friends
and life
and my cat- I know I don’t have one yet
but these rose colored dreams... so delightful-
sigh
Alright, I’ll remove them for a verse

Kiddo, am I proud?
No.
Absolutely not.
I am not noble in turning away those who show interest in me because..
Because you aren’t even mine
And I’m stuck in this delusion that everything will be fine
If I give it my all and move to LA
Chase after rose colored dreams until they lose their color someday.
And maybe
No- I know that I could waste the entirety of my existence chasing after your perfection
You’d think by now I would have learned my lesson.

But if you really do admire me like you say
And if distance is the only thing prying our hearts away
Then I’ll throw away this life-
I’ll turn down tempting lasses
And I’ll chase after you with my rose colored glasses
formerly: Untitled (3-22-18)

— The End —