Years ago, now
Clean as a whistle
Sober as a Mormon
You poured into me

My head spun
My hands shook
My heart raced
My whole world melted

I stopped you
Because I was afraid
Of overdosing
And dying beneath you

Never too busy to think about you
Never too busy to want you
Never to busy to Jill off to your memory
But far too busy
To write poems about it

From here to there
And back
In seconds flat

You're just
A dream away
From me

And I hate
Every time
I wake up

Thieves in the night
Liars, scandalous harlots
They dance, they sing
They give no secrets away

Servants to the senses by day
Soldiers to the battle by night
Subjects to no king
Least of all, the mind behind them

Murderous, treacherous,
Maddening, Fierce
Demons and Sirens
Hold not a flame to their light

Felling the mountains
With naught but their will
How easy a mark, then
Must they have made my heart

**** him.

**** his voice.

**** his touch.

**** his hair.

**** his scent.

**** his name.

**** his gaze.

**** his stare.

**** his arrogance.

**** his sweetness.

**** his charm.

**** his pheromones.

**** his bare chest.

**** his loyalty.

**** his lack-there-of.

**** his secrecy.

**** his mystery.

**** his heresy.

**** his history.

**** his Fox.

**** his Fix.

**** his memories.

**** him.

**** him.

(But GOD, how I wish I could)

**** him.

GET

the

E
v
e
r
loving

****

OUT

OFMY

*******
*******
o­hmyfuckinggodiFUCKINGhateyou

H
E
A
D

seriously
please
imb­eggingyou

And maybe eat ****

I love you
You know this
It's stupid
You're stupid

Buuuuut

It's hopeless
We're drowning
The boys are out
Now, run away

Stay

Leave, I guess
Grieve, I guess
I don't care
You don't care

We care

We care too much
And we drown
And we fail
But hey-

You know all of this

Wild, curly brown hair
Big ol' brown doe eyes
Her father's sweetness
And her mother's sass

She might be a painter
Or a writer
Or a nerd
Or even an athlete

She'd be half dreamer
Half thinker
All-knowing
And all-loving

Her name would roll off tongues
Wrapped in affectionate sighs
And stern instructions
And resounding respect

Creating her with you
That magic power God saw fit to give
We're trash, but
She might not be

We would raise her
On spicy food
And kisses on temples
And lullabies

She'd speak your language
With my conviction
Killin' 'em
On multiple continents

Our little girl
Would be you
And me
On fire

Like blood in still water
You beautifully float through me
Red flowers blooming and fading

Irradiated, distant dreams
We won't really be harmed
Until we doff our gas masks

We'll dance on the corpses
Of our former selves
And be deemed wicked by all

But we weep at the graves
Of all our past lovers
For all the pain they have gifted us

I run naked through the woods
From your intoxication
Lashed by every branch and twig

Only to find you in a field
Waiting to wash my face and wounds
In a pond of your living waters

Dry my skin with your breathy sighs
Clothe me in your finest regard
Sing me to sleep with the smell of your incense

In the morning
We may just have to
Do it all again

Touch me
With the tips of your fingers
Gently
Across the small of my back

Touch me
With both hands
Securely
Fastened to my hips

Touch me
With the rise of your chest
Intimately
Pressing against mine

Touch me
With your lips, your tongue
Hungrily
Tasting the salt on my neck

Touch me
With the rest of you
Finally
Becoming who you touch

Those little electric currents
That pass from your skin to mine
Frankly
Keep me alive

That's why I'm dying

Once upon a time,
I fell in love with a fish
Who only acknowledged me
When I managed to get him on the hook,
But he swam away
The second any bait was gone

Once upon a time,
I fell in love with a deer
Who only came near me
When I made myself smaller,
But he ran away
The second I started to stand

Once upon a time,
I fell in love with a cat
Who only rubbed against me
When I ignored him long enough
But he sauntered away
The second he got my attention

After a long while,
He came back around
To **** my hook clean,
And to be my superior,
And to fool me

He is gone again
For how long
No one can say
But I'll be here

Pole in hand,
Crouched,
And looking in the opposite direction