There's a picture in my head
That I call "Perfect"

I close my eyes every morning
And imagine someone beside me

The someone is kind and rested
And smiles when our eyes meet

They reach out and touch my face
With the gentleness of the rising sun

And try out a rough "Good Morning"
Before clearing their throat

We kiss,
And it's softer than the pillows

We embrace,
And it's warmer than the blankets

We ****,
And it's hotter than that sun

I open my eyes to the reality
Of the choices I have made

And I try not to hate it
Too much

I'll sit here,
Wasting away in your memory,
Surviving on fumes
Of a love gone dry

I'll wait here,
Counting the moments and nights,
Cursing the heavens
For a hope I lost

I'll sleep here,
Dreaming of what could've been,
Fading to grey
In a sea of your thoughts

How I wish
And wish
You cared enough
To say hello

But I realize
You are a free agent
Unto the will
You choose

And you choose
And choose
To not say
Hello

And you realize
I am a mess
Plagued by
Your absence

So that
Should tell
Me
Something

You appear
And disappear
And reappear
And it's Christmastime

I know I've said too much
I know I've tried to be nice
I know I've been naughty
I know I've gone too far

I think about you
And her
I think about your Christmas Eve
With a beautiful person

I'm drunk
If you can't tell
And broke
So Christmastime evades me

But you have her
And she
******* Christ
She has has you

I have three cats
Two dogs
Two passive *****
And a future hangover

She has you
And I'm jealous
So jealous
That I might actually tell you

Merry Christmas
Merry Christmas
Merry Christmas
*******

**** her
**** me
Merry Christmas
*******

"It doesn't feel like Christmas"
Well,
No ****
We're so wretched

Poverty and jealousy
Impatience, opportunity
Blessed ******* scrutiny
Of all the shoddy mutinies...

You were a dream
No. 1 on the Christmas list
But Santa never brings
The most expensive things

So a good night to all
And
To all
A good night

But I'll never have
You
And I hope it's
Alright