I saw a girl in a wheelchair on her porch
and wasps were swarming in the cornice

She had just washed her hair
taken it down and combed it

She could see
just like me

That one star under the rafter
shining like a knife in the creek

She was thin as the hereafter
and made me think

Of music singing to itself
like someone putting a violin in a case

And walking off with a stranger
to lie down and drink in the dark by the lake.

I do not love you except because I love you;
I go from loving to not loving you,
From waiting to not waiting for you
My heart moves from cold to fire.

I love you only because it's you the one I love;
I hate you deeply, and hating you
Bend to you, and the measure of my changing love for you
Is that I do not see you but love you blindly.

Maybe January light will consume
My heart with its cruel
Ray, stealing my key to true calm.

In this part of the story I am the one who
Dies, the only one, and I will die of love because I love you,
Because I love you, Love, in fire and blood.

You used to tell me that I spoke beautifully
but maybe it was just the words that I wrote down at 4am
because those 4am nights were seemingly becoming a thing
and I needed time to process you
and do all I could to put you on paper
so I said that you fit me nicely.
But since then I haven't heard from you much
and it seems that you've taken my beautiful words
and turned them into the ground and planted yourself a future
and you've given yourself hope that maybe you'll hold something beautiful someday.
But rainy days pass
and you've hidden your sun away
and I'm starting to think that I might not be a part of your beautiful future
so I won't suffocate you with the words you've stolen from my tongue
cause I can still taste them on my lips
inches from where yours used to be when you told me
you'd stay forever.

*spinningheads-andmessybeds