I sometimes wonder if it was fated.
Maybe it is my job to be the evil one now.
Maybe we were meant to switch roles this way
And I was meant to experience this pain, this empty, this hatred
For everything for being nothing I ever wanted.
Lately I find myself stopping and wondering,
"Did you feel this way too? Behind closed doors and in your waking every day life, were you also consumed by this?
Have you wanted to be better but every day become
Jeckle and Hyde even though you didn't want to?
Did you experience the loneliness?
The distance? The fear? The panic?
The pure hell that is this existence?!"
Sometimes I really do wonder.
Sometimes I get curious enough to want to ask.
Sometimes I am really glad I can't ask when the moment sparks
because that means opening a whole new door,
Building a whole new bridge again
And DEAR GOD how it hurt growing up and watching the ones
I put so much work into get blown apart, repeatedly set ablaze by the dynamite you set off again and again and I just watched.
Like a child who just had their tower of blocks pushed over
I watched my bridge constantly decimated by fire, as each piece fell into the moat you built around your castle that you built around yourself to continue to waste away like the skeleton King you are
as you whisper your last breath, "You never really loved me."
Now look at you.
King of Nothing.
Who had a skeleton princess who swiped away her father's ashes from the gold laced throne and she took his place.
She dies waiting for her Prince that will never come
because she simply won't let down the draw bridge.