*******, ******, molly, lucy, shrooms
chosen over my kind caress
i wish to help
i am condemned, you are condemned

blame me for seeing it with my own eyes
blame me for loving you with my whole heart
what was i to do, when you asked me to be your boo?

turn away and deny you when i want you too
but i more, you lied; then denied proclaiming accusations
i can't be with you, but god, do i want to

children, ex wife, unemployment when we met
what the **** is wrong with you, and me
what is wrong with me? nothing
just faith

too much faith
maybe it's the ***
maybe it's the snot or the tears
or your tearing through the sheets
trying to get to me as i hide from your rage

too much faith for today,
spend it on yourself
but i dont do what you tell me to
i keep trying to win you

but you're not a special,
especially when you're mean or green with envy
one sided only

but still...
*******, ******, molly, lucy, shrooms....
**** if you went deep sea fishing

any of it over my love
my beautiful kind, understanding love that lingers

You are a bicycle,
your rims are rusted;
Rusted to the overblown rubber tire.

Your chain is broken.
We've tried to splice it so many times,
but I'm running out of links and I'm broke.

You broke me, you ran over my foot.
No apologies. Only the reminders you leave like leaches.
"Well, I told you. I'm a bike."

Well, I told you not to hurt me.
Then you deliberately sought out to run over my foot.
Then ask me "Will you pump my tires, will you oil my chain."

I do these things for you, without being asked or appreciated.
Do them because you're my bicycle, and I appreciate you.

For getting me places, and knocking me down
to give me bruises, bumps, and scars
Scars that remind me, I am not a bicycle.

I am the flesh and blood of the world.
I am not a hollow iron cast;
My innards are in motion with my mind and heart.

I gotta stop pumping the tires on this bike, and toss it.
This bicycle gave me tetanus from it's peddles trying to run away.

Stop cutting up my ******* feet, bike.

You put your life on hold to examine the past, recalculating the out come and what came out. Who knew we’d be sad again, exempting everyone from the relationships of others. Swallowing acid, eating away your insides. Lying to your heart through the skipping beats, and *** stained sheets. You’re crying in the bathroom, reading a graphic novel in a hot bubble bath. Trying to relax, and forget about the past. Failing to tell yourself the truth about your heart-shattering memory and crushed up crush on whom you left behind. Can’t face the truth, so you’re chewing your teeth and swallowing in the shards. Your gums bleeding trying to spit out what’s in front of you but you draw a blank and the targets leaving sight. What are you going to do, you’re going to lie some more and hide it deeper down. You are, you’re going to taint with the tainted and dance with your demons. But they’re leading, and you don’t know how to tango. Getting dragged down and busting your *** ******* the ground, you plummet from Earth and fall to the hell you created yourself. You think back again, to what it could have been. If you’d kept your mouth shut, and just let it in. You cry.

I've gotten a couple of busted lips,
bruised hips,
migraines, headaches...
Insults,
sarcastic compliments,
and maybe even a single armed hug every other Wednesday.

But no I love you,
I respect you, or I want you.

No initiation to put forth love and express affection.

"Stubborn as a bull", I say to you as I climb your trunk and grab onto your horns.
Can't get away from your demons, can't hear my angels cries.

Throw me into the wall, call me wrong for feeling it.
Reject my wishes, and shame me for wanting something more.

But I weigh it all out and I'm just 7 lbs too few, and I need more.

Because I got too comfortable in your violent mind.