Before my first day of school
I knew how to read and write

But mom thought it important
That I memorize
Our home phone number.

In retrospect
She worried that a stranger
Might sweep me up and secret me away.

How cute.
That one’s deepest fear
Would be kidnapping

And how sweet
That her dearest friend
The one she couldn’t bear to lose
Would be her five-year-old

Good times

Can you see my VPL through this dress?
Hold on till I look out the window.
What you looking at.
I’m searching for the spaceship.
Is that your idea of a joke.
Hey, you’re the one speaking Klingon.
Okay dummy, can you see my underwear through this dress.
Lift your dress up to I see
Just look before I lamp you.
Okay, you appear to be VPL clear. You wearing thongs.
No, thongs are my pulling pants, and since I've pulled you I no longer need to wear them. Or do I.
Seems a shame, you could be turning me on whilst your out ******* with your friends.
That is true. I could even replace you with some nice guy.
You just can’t go about replacing us guys like engagement rings.
Hardly my fault guys want to marry me. Apart from you, that is.
I would love to thingamy you
See, you can’t even say the word. I really should replace you, I deserve better.
Okay, you have my permission to chat up guys, if it helps your self-esteem.
I don’t need your permission. Why the hell can't you be jealous when guys chat me up.
Aw, do you want me to throw a hissy fit?
Yes, that would be the normal thing to do.
I expect guys to chat you up. That way I need to work harder to keep you.
That’s the worse backhanded compliment I’ve ever heard.
Think I heard your taxi beeping. You go knock them dead girl.
I’m having a serious chat with you tomorrow.
Sounds serious, just check my diary. Okay, I appear to be VPL free tomorrow.
Very funny, you just wait.

First, you need to mix the potion.
You must read the instructions very carefully
You don’t want to be summoning up any old witch.
So make sure it’s the October manual.
Especially as we know what happened last year.
How you got October mixed up with November is nobody's business.
But my god, when I saw the fire brigade heading to the Houses of Parliament, I just thought to myself, what has the idiot done this time.
Now I know what you’re going to say.
What about that little corporal guy you summoned up.
Okay, I take that on board, he looked harmless enough, little pencil moustache set him apart from the usual riff raff.
How the hell was I to know he wanted to rule the world.
Just goes to show you.
Nearly lost my brewing license over that.
Then you went for, in your own words, that guy who makes people laugh.
Atila for fun.
Are you dyslexic or what.
The grief that caused
Another warning handed out.
So let's have a look at the ***** ups over the years, see if we can rectify them this year.
This is what you’ve summoned up so far.

Sirenes
The Cheeky girls

The Teletubbies.
That guy who said, I didn’t have *** with that woman, that week.
European Union
Hp  Poets

You can see how the coven is not over the moon with this lot.
So, before you summon up anyone this year, I’m going to be looking over your shoulder, make sure you get it right.
Right, the mixture is brewing up fine, looking good.
Okay, begin the summoning up.
Oh great spirit in the brew, sum us up something new.
Okay looking good, coming through now.
A big dumb guy wearing a wig.
Right, I like it, do you have a name for him.
Trumpy  you think.
Looks more like a Donald to me.
But the main thing is.
He looks harmless enough...

Music is also a poetry

That has tone and sound

They express both unsaid thoughts and feelings

did you hear that?
did you dare?

did you live? Of course.
right choice.

Yes or no.