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we have a clean white bed, slept late,

a shock to break the ritual. a treat

on a major scale. probably ten.



i think i may like to travel to small places,

old and full of history. deep aged fabrics

stained with the words of time. to touch.



feel the textures, the threads, know that when

all things are sad, there is a happiness to be

found, in these places.



in the ribbon she gave me, in the thoughts,

the gestures from friends, their aknowledgement

of who i am.



. it has been a happy time.



sbm.
 Dec 2014
GailForceWinds
I’m no angel
I’m surely no saint
If you knew the things I’ve done
You’d probably faint
I’m not the same person
I was a year ago
By the grace of God
I continued to grow
I now have a conscience
I sometimes do wrong
But I try to make it right
Before I fall sleep at night
My future is uncertain
So is every day
But I believe if I continue to pray
I have a chance at a happy tomorrow
My life no longer has to be filled with sorrow
 Dec 2014
GailForceWinds
I don't wish for much this year
All I need is you my dear
I have food on the table, a roof over my head
Wonderful friends, a warm cozy bed
I won’t feel complete
Without you in my life
I don’t know who you are
But I dream to be your wife
I’m a hopeless romantic
I believe in till death do us part
Please my darling, don’t break my heart
I’ve been waiting for you, all of my life
Times I wanted to end it, but I didn’t pick up the knife
I believe in miracles
And that miracles come true
This is the year, the miracle will be you
 Dec 2014
GailForceWinds
The  tears poured out down my cheek
Washing away the secrets I did keep
I'm done hiding
I'm done lieing
It's time to come clean
Whatever that means
I've done so much damage in my short life
I've abused and cheated and thought it was alright
So I make my amends
And take what I get
My life's just beginning
This isn't the end
 Dec 2014
GailForceWinds
Yes I'm grateful I can't drink
First time in my life I can honestly think
I've drank way more than my share
It was just one big scare after scare
I had only two choices left
Put down the bottle
Or face death
I guess I wasn't ready to die
I'm still here
with no want for that glass of cheer
my life might not be perfect
But I cannot complain
I have a new freedom
I'm happy again !
 Dec 2014
GailForceWinds
Paper is my canvas
A Paintbrush is my pen
I search for the right colors
To paint a beautiful scene
Blotches
Splatters
Smears
Paint thrown by the can
A rough texture surface
Spanning miles where the eye can't see
It’s a mural of my life
This hodgepodge I’ve created
Is me
 Dec 2014
GailForceWinds
My fingers hurt from holding the pen
Here I go writing endlessly again
This is what my life has come to
Writing is the only thing I do
I’m not really living
Just writing about the past
And a hopeless future
Not such a blast
I’m not finding love
Sitting in this room
Full of hurt, full of gloom
I am out of ideas, no options left
I’ll continue to write
Until I’m dead
 Dec 2014
GailForceWinds
I look out the window
The gray tarp covers the sky
I sit and wonder why
This time of year
Everything looks bleak
I look for the sun
Blue skies I do seek
There’s never a rainbow
Without the rain
Remember that
It helps the pain
So I wait and I smile
Waiting for the rainbow to appear
It’s dark and dismal
The silence I can hear
I long for the sun
Just a glimpse would be nice
It’s all just a fantasy
Sugar and spice
 Dec 2014
GailForceWinds
Hate is such a strong word
Like death
It feels so permanent
So drastic
And we use hate so freely
I hate this, I hate that
Is it really hate we feel
Or dislike
Distaste
So many other words we could use
But we choose hate
Do we love enough?
We sure do hate enough...
 Dec 2014
Amanda Lynn Carter
Always sticking out
Never quite fitting in
Never really belonging
Anywhere I've been

Always feeling alone
Even in a crowd
Never being heard
Even when I scream out loud

Never loved or missed
Always an after-thought
Readily dismissed
The one that you forgot

Lonely and scared
That I'll always be alone
No one knocking on my door
No one calling on the phone

That's how it's always been
Just me all on my own
No one there to hold me
So I spend my life alone
10/13/13
 Dec 2014
Musfiq us shaleheen
~~
In touch of you,
one day, thousands of dreams grew on me
after that you left me in halfway
then little by little I have almost forgotten my dreams
forgotten that dreamy highway where there we walked together

Today I'm walking alone,
so alone,
towards an unknown way,
where there I hear my wounded dreams
and my love calling me,
calling me as if they are in a trap
As if they are in a cage
where there I see a narrow way,
I never go through such a way,
very congested,
little bit hazy,
too shadow,
dark,
and a few footsteps that I have seen
where there my dreams calling,
my lost love calling,
calling too loudly

Again I feel my heart has overflowed
floating over my lost dreams,
flooding over my lost love

I'm walking through that narrow way
little by little that sound has seemed strong,
little by little I have heard her voice to grow long
may be I am so close to my love,
so close to my dreams
my right hand moving,
moving through the dark
I try to break the shadow,
try to catch my dreams
I have become tired,
Try to take a little breath
and finally,
I break the shadow,
shatter the dark
and finding her within the dark
seeking my dreams within the shadow
but I can't see anything,

Yet the clock moving on--
still I'm uttering her name
and dreaming within my thousands of daydreams
where I had left one long spring--
~~
@Musfiq us shaleheen


---------------------------------
হাজারো স্বপ্ন ও একটি ভালবাসা
---------------------------------
তোমার স্পর্শে
একদিন যখন হাজারো স্বপ্ন
বুদবুদ করতো--  
তারপর মাঝ রাস্তায় রেখে
চলে গেলে তুমি--
আস্তে আস্তে
ভুলে যেতে থাকলাম সপ্ন গুলোকে,
ভুলে যেতে থাকলাম সেই স্বপ্নের রাজপথ
যে পথে হাটতাম আমরা -

আজ আমি একা
বড় একা-
এক অচেনা রাস্তায় হাটি,
যেখানে শুনতে পাই,
আমার আহত সপ্নেরা,
আমার হারানো ভালবাসা,
আমায় ডাকে-
শুনে যেন মনে হয়
তারা বড় অসহায়,  
মনে হই তারা বন্দী,
সেখানে একটা সরু রাস্তা দেখতে পাই
এমন রাস্তায় আগে কখনো যাই নাই
খুবিই দমবন্ধ করা-
খুবিই দুর্ভেদ্য-
ঘন ছায়া,
অন্ধকার,
ঔইখানে কিছু পদচিন্হ দেখি
সেখানে স্বপ্নরা ডাকে,
হারানো ভালবাসা ডাকে,
উচু স্বরে ডাকে-

আবার হৃদয় প্লাবিত হয়
যা ভাসছে হারানো সপ্নের উপর
প্লাবিত হচ্চে হারানো ভালোবাসের উপর

আমি সেই সংকীর্ণ রাস্তা দিয়া হাটি
আস্তে আস্তে শব্দগুলো স্পষ্ট হয়
আস্তে আস্তে  তার সুর সুনতে পাই
হইত আমি ভালবাসার খুবই কাছে
হইত সপ্নের খুবই কাছে
ডান হাত সরছে
চলছে আধারের মধ্যে দিয়ে
চেষ্টা করি ওই ছায়াকে দূর করতে
চেষ্টা করি স্বপ্নকে ধরতে
দারুন ক্লান্ত,
চেষ্টা করি একটু শ্বাস নিতে
এবং শেষে,
মুছে ফেলি ওই ছায়া
বন্ধ করি ওই আধার
খুজি ওই আধারে ভালোবাসা
খুজি সপ্নকে  ওই ছায়াতে
কিন্তু পাইনা খুঁজে কিছুই-

এখনো ঘড়ির কাটা ঘুরে
প্রতিনিয়ত তার নাম উচার্রণ করি  
সপ্নদেখি শত সহস্র দিবাস্বপ্নের মাঝে  
যেখানে আমি ফেলে এসেছি দীর্ঘ এক বসন্ত--
~~
@মুসফিক উস সালেহীন
///
"thousands of dreams and a lost love"/ হাজারো স্বপ্ন ও একটি ভালবাসা

I think everybody will enjoy this poem
and I tribute this poem to the greatest poet " **Langston Hughes**"
///
 Dec 2014
GailForceWinds
I waste so much time
Being unhappy and down
It should be so easy
To turn my frown upside-down
I have so much to live for
Today’s a new day
I believe in miracles
Happiness is everywhere, just waiting for us
It just so happens I always miss that bus
I open my eyes and look all around
Surprised at what I’ve finally found
A smile on my face, and no one’s around
*My Holiday Miracle
 Dec 2014
GailForceWinds
Tiss the season
To be jolly and bright
Why can't I seem to come into the light
Only darkness surrounds me
No joy can I see
Another year coming
All I foresee is never ending gloom
I can't leave my tomb
So I won't
I'll stay in bed
Sorting through the **** in my head
This too shall pass
I want to know when
I can enjoy life, start living again
Tiss the season
For all of you
It’s not for me
I don't know what to do
Slit my wrists?  I'll mess that up
Drink and drug?  If I can lift the cup
For now I'll just stay in bed
No need to worry, I'm already dead
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