every time I look at myself I see you

am I your puppet
or are you mine?

I can't find the exit
acting like you're wasted
you know exactly what you're saying

did you find your reason to exist
made a list

don't hate me
turning cold

I feel sick
painfully hurt

I hope you rest soon
left you inside

want you to cry
can you love
did you see it all

everything I give
so I can receive

making choices
           is not for the
                 faint of heart                
                               any step                ⍜
                           into the future        ☇≣⤷
                                             is a step 〳〵
                                                   into the
                                                             ­                 
                                               ­                           
                                     ­                                    dark

it's red never green
but its black when i can't see
when it pools in my eyes
and slides down my cheeks
the feeling so indescribably large
yet nothing but a point in the void
the only thing helping me navigate
is the faint sound of your voice
because i'm lost in nowhere
looking for a way to get somewhere that doesn't exist
at least not yet
but i still wanna look for it

heaven could be closer than i'd like to think
but i'll have to crawl through hell just to have that peace
and i don't think i have it in me
i can't afford to gamble with my last good thing

just skip me until i'm ready

Amaryllis in the Spring
because it's a pure & innocent thing

before a summer of rockets,
debris of hope—

              the Age of Discovery,
              the Punishment of Lust

an intravenous poison of decline forms
the new math: eye value minus itself

in waltz-time the body is radio-active,
there is no such thing as labor saving machinery

ask Garbo or Monroe, very happy one moment,
the next there was nothing left

their machines did the heavy lifting,
but one was not the loneliest number