May you never hear
The thoughts in my head


For yours is the name
They scream for


And
I
Am
*Powerless.

'Je suis perdu'
is a wrong spell I hang like oracles on
our lips
You knew purple is my favourite hue
yet
you said you'd show me what colour loneliness bleeds
As though the uneven mixture of blue and
black
tells no stories of their own
That veins are but pulsing mechanisms, our
daily battle with the urge to
control
We
are our own Gods
In all perfect naïvete tweak the points in the stars and
misalign fates
That all of a sudden the night sky, starlit and bare, are no longer
whispering secrets or teasing us with the winds.
Remember that desperation for instant
gratification
A single affirmation always taken for granted.
We are lonely.
And loneliness,
is red.

Let the semicolon split apart from the seams
Let the lights shatter
Let the eclipse taste us-
Whole embodied variations
Infatuations digested and expelled with this disease
Let us examine
Let us recreate
The desire we infected with selfish tendencies
Give me your pure-
Our sinless monogamy

(C) Tiffanie Noel Doro

kissing you was like swerving into oncoming traffic

i can never tell if i am more haunted by empty picture frames or the ashes of their contents

you taught me that the saying "pick your battles" meant not answering when love was at the door

sometimes when i drink whiskey i swear i can hear your voice in the creases of my bedsheets & i sleep on the floor

i still catch myself running my hands over things you touched the most, looking for the echoes of your fingertips

i practice things i'll never say to you

i remember the day you told me you didn't like poetry, how "everything's already been said" & how "nothing meaningful can be captured without being cliche" you know, i don't miss you like the sun and moon, i do not miss you like tide bent waves crashing on the shoreline, i miss you like a chernobyl  swingset misses children

rumor has it that drowning is a lot like coming home, that drinking bleach can **** the butterflies in your stomach

for your love of cigarettes, i would have been an ashtray

this halloween i want to dress up as the you when you loved yourself and show up on your doorstep

i never understood what you meant when you said i was an instrument, back when you would cup your hands around my chest and breathe through the holes in my heart, i still wonder if the sounds i made remind you of wind chimes

i never paid much attention to abandoned buildings until i became one

in my dreams all the flowers smell like your perfume

i am the only person who has ever wished for the same snowflake to fall twice

if i could go back, and rewrite the definition of audacity, it would be how when we lost the bet of love, you said "we never shook on it"

i love you, if the feeling is not mutual, please pretend this was a poem

the only apology i want from you, is to have you repeat the names of children we will never have in your parents living room until they *****

we are the same person if you find yourself up at 4am dry heaving promises, or if you are kept awake by the laughter of those who've abandoned you

nobody ever told you that goodbyes taste like the back of stamps

sometimes i'm convinced that the only reason we hug, is so you can check my back for exit wounds