home
is your
midnight lullaby
dripping like honey
from the back of your throat
and your
anxious tears
dripping like sand
from the top of an hourglass

home
is the
perfume of orange blossoms
passing through my lungs
as we run through the orchard
and the
rotting smell of garbage
passing through the streets
as we climb onto the school bus

home
is the
sweet taste of dates
mixed with sugary syrup
kneaded into perfect pastries
and the
metallic taste in your mouth
mixed with the guilt in my stomach
kneaded into a sticky dough

home
is the
falling of ocean waves
over our heads
as we scream-laugh through the water
and the
falling of bombs
over our city
as we sit together in silence

oh
how I wish
I could simply return
home
but
home
no longer exists
because home is
you

what was once Ivory
has now returned to granite
BOTH WE LIE, IN THE EARTH,
yet i.. i am still tortured with breath, with sight.

there is no need of voice.
i will hang on the farewell as it is a rope from Troy around my neck.
lull me down with you please, please, please. i am nothing but that.
there is nothing more to be said.

HOW DO YOU LIVE WHEN WHAT MADE YOU YOU IS DEAD?
(sleep in the wheat, i will be there soon.)
you find the quickest way to them instead.
                                                        ­          
                                 i am not sorry.

Losing grip
As the void opens below me.
A rage like a flame,
Ready to consume it all away.
The water douses the flame,
The smooth visage
Of the silently stoic seas
Now threatening to drown
Rather than to save.

One good tug deserves my time,
And so I unwillingly fall
Into the drowning sea.

Reddened hands,
slick with broken skin
Reduce the sea to an abhorrent red.
Now sadness has a new color.

The Queen
not dead
but dormant
for so long
So so long
stirs
already for a long time now
drenched with knowing
with foreboding
She lies still
patient
but never unseeing

On this day
it is raining
On this day
what needs to happens
happens

On this day
a hand
stretches out towards Her
shy but determined
A hand She knows well
A face She knows
so well
so
so well

Age five I never tripped
Never got hurt
No bone broken
They gave me bandages anyway
I could see their bandages
Underneath every shirt
Tik tik tik
Age 10 a knife was stuck into my chest
Drip
Drip
Drip
But no one else saw the blood
Only the knife through my lungs
I couldn’t breathe
They gave me a bandage and told me
That’s life
I could see theirs bandaged chests
There was no blood on them
Tik tik tik
Age twelve I went outside
My pockets filled with spare bandages
Had to be prepared for the cuts to bleed through
A man I had never seen before told me
You don’t need those bandages anymore
He ripped off the cloth covering my scrapes
Only a bead of blood trickled out
I didn’t know why he did it
Tik tik tik
I see him again
He tells me
You don’t need those bandages anymore
I take them off
The **** on my chest
Still bleeding profusely
A small cut near my thigh
Drip
Drip
Drip
His own blood stained bandages covered his eyes
His body sticky from the blood the wound caused
I think he needs a doctor
Tik tik tik
I see him
Again
Again
Again
I bandage myself more
Only to rip it off when I see him
Drip
Drip
Drip
My chest is soaked
I think I need a doctor
Tik tik tik
Age fifteen I hadn’t seen him in years
But he was there when anyone spoke
Too many bandages
Not enough space
Too much blood
Drip
Drip
Drip
Tik tik tik
In two months time I saw a man I had known for many years
You need another bandage. I can see your cuts
I think his eyes are damaged
I can see the blood coming through
I think he needs a doctor

Some days the sun in full bloom
wallowing
in
what if we?
I have a tendency to get high on gloom
Loosing the better part of the day .
Getting drunk
On the doom
I create while drifting sideways
In
I should haves'
May as well
Say what the hell
I cant do anythin now its late afternoon
Yet some how i persuade myself to
Slither forth from the tomb
And recieve the
Browbeating i know I got comin to me.


Only to sleek back to my room with something to eat ........
And  heralding
With such conviction all the false promises of tomorrow
And make a mental list of excuses for the the dissapointmemts
That will surely
Follow
Then find solace in making the rest of the world feel a liitle better than......
Me


And slowly smiling as i melt into my phone untill the sun starts knocking and repeat

Feel like I'm floating. People talk but I don't really hear. Bought a cat cause I'm lonely but now I despise it because it needs.

Windows have frost, maybe vitamin deficient. Jack it to memories of a faceless  beauty on a night that cared so long ago.

But now I'm haunted. I'll see it soon. Just wish I could be alone; truly, truly, truly alone.  Where no light shines but withers