We used to sit in your parent's basement
with your two dogs on their little beds
in the corner by the old desktop computer,
wooden hand-me-down grandmother cabinetry,
lace doilies underneath all the candles
on the coffee table. I made you turn out the lights.
We would sit there and pretend
that we could find something better to do
than kiss between commercials
or talk about all the things we used
to dream about in high school, how I
got mine and how yours were like
the back bumper of a car that got left
out in the rain too long-- a little rusty.

Your kissing was a little rusty,
but I let it go because you didn't make fun
of me ordering a double grilled cheese
on our first date. You also didn't judge
when I got drips on my dress
from my ice cream cone. I can still
remember the way you'd yell at me
for stopping too far out at intersections,
laughing how I was gonna get us killed
one day, but I think
you just really loved to hear me sing
over you. I think you really loved

me, and here I was playing teeter
totter on curbs in little jean shorts
with a guy who gave me a slice
of leftover pizza. Here I was, burning
down your own ambitions because
they didn't seem as glittery as my own,
because you didn't quite match all the sketches,
all the plans I had on my map. Because
if we were to draw straws I always thought
you would come up a little short.
I think you really loved me and I left you
like a penny in between that couch
we used to sit on.

Remember this: you only die once,
                                      
                                   but you live everyday.

On this the day of my birth I reflect on the twenty things I’ve learned. To be fair I learned most of these very young or far too late, but regardless they are lessons learned.

First Family is always family. You don’t chose these people but you do get to choose how you interact with them.

There are people who are more than family. How I met them doesn’t matter. What does is the fact that I would do anything for them for the pure reason that they mean that much to me.

Everyone needs faith, Granted we all don’t believe in the same thing, and that’s ok, but we all need to believe in something.  This life has zero purpose if you don’t have something to believe in.

You can’t chose who you love. I don’t want to go into details with this one but what it comes down to is you are fully responsible for what you do with that love,

Never get in between a relationship. It’s not my place and I don’t like being there.

No one deserves forgiveness. Forgiveness is a gift which must be given freely.

It’s easier to be feared then loved, but love is more satisfying.

People will hate me. Some of it I deserve a lot of it no so much. Nothing I can do about it.

If no one hates you it means you never really stood for anything.

Never pick a fight you don’t intended to finish, but if you do finish it leave it alone, Grudge matches never solve anything.

Grudges are a waste of time and energy. It won’t make you feel better and it won’t make the other person feel worse.

Time is one of the few things we control that we have no real control over, so spend it/ pass it/ live it on the people and things you love.

Someone loves you even if it’s not you.

Money is a means to an end not an end. If money for money’s sake become your goal you will wake up very sad one day.

I should do things that I love. Even if they don’t make me money, that’s the point of my day job. People who can do both are truly blessed, but I don’t want my love to become a necessity.

No one controls my actions but me. I will pay for my sins, but I will also celebrate my victories.

No one on this planet is perfect. But find that person that makes you want to be better then you are.

All magic comes at a price. To gain something, something of value must be lost. To live ignoring the consequences is foolishness.

There are fundamental laws that never change. I am finding out what those are for me and making sure I never forget them.

Lastly I’m just a minor character in a story that has been going on far longer than I’ve been alive, but that doesn’t mean I’m not important to the stories around me. I could be that unwavering friend, the annoying rival, the wise one who hands out good advice, or the villain who makes the hero realize something.

At the end of the day I AM HUMAN. I will make mistakes, fail and fall, but I will pick myself up and keep going. I’m far from perfect and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

This country was built on greed.
All the white men had desires;
Gold, God and Glory their creed.
Sin loves to travel in packs
wrath came next to spill blood.
The Great Spirit received many guests.

Having desires is not a sin.
Sin entered when men were sold
to backbreaking work for another’s gain.
***** blood fueled the Southern Kingdom
greed begot sloth which begot fear
slavery became too valuable to lose.

So in the great American tradition
compromise became the easy way out.
Why fight for 3/5 a person;
instead bounce between slave and free
making all envy the southern wealth
a perfect illusion hiding white poor.

Fast forward to the Postbellum south.
Half the wealth has become man
equality will mean Southern prosperity’s death.
The south needs labor to rebuild
sharecropping and convict leasing slavery’s *******
will help keep the ***** down.

When men become numbers society fails.
Why not work them to death?
Just grab another to lay rails.
Once being black is a crime
it’s simple to justify white pride.
Fear will keep those ******* inline.

So do not blame Big Business
for the destruction they routinely cause.
Save your petitions to our congress
they can’t even touch the monster.
We devour all that we see
but that’s our countries original Sin.