Got to string out the guitar backstage
With Ben bridwell from the Band of Horses,
Drank a beer with J. Tillman of the Fleet Foxes
With Colin Richey I had a glass of wine
And me and my band for one hour shined.
I rocked with known rockers
Follower groupies,
Not to mention or did I?
With my second string player
I smoked a magnificent doobie.
What a week it's been
Three more days
Then coming back home.
A getaway to remember
A getaway well known.

The molehill got bigger
Behind the red crimson barn. Gramp's gun today will have some fun. Shooting away at the furry rat bustard's!
Their holes have made my crop's a sickly figure
Creating my land into disaster
As a creating poet I'll write of the hole digger's
As a grandpa,
I'll shoot their brain out of their head's.
Mole day
Today their dead!

A doctor and his wife were having a big argument at breakfast. "You aren't so good in bed either!", he shouted and stormed off to work. By mid morning, he decided he'd better make amends and called home. "What took you so long to answer?" "I was in bed." "What were you doing in bed this late?" "Getting a second opinion.

Did you hear about the guy who ran infront of the bus? He got tired .

"the pen is mightier than the sword"
but "actions speak louder than words
I tried "beating around the bush"
even though my hands held two birds

i've played "the devil's advocate"
and i tried "sitting on the fence"
heard it "straight from the horse's mouth"
the horse made "horse sense"

i'm "letting the cat out of the bag"
i can't "let sleeping dogs lie"
you "barked up the wrong tree"
we will never see "eye to eye"

is there "a method to my madness"?
"your guess is as good as mine"
i'm listening to "the voice of reason"
the one "i heard through the grape vine"

A helping
Handful
Of two guitar's
One strap
Jimmy Page style.

a funny game i wanted to play with me

writing poem within mouth holding
a seed of blackberry.

the fruit was fleshy sweet
till tongue exposed its bone
staled, made it insipid,
as if, was never grown.

spit it out i could not do
that seed utterly dry
for i had given word to you
a poem to write must try.

as i thought up cutish rhyme
that must pleasure fetch
****** grew the seed with time
my mouth was messy wretch.

my tongue was thick of blue
too intense was my plight
but i had given word to you
must hold till end of write.

it's over now this awkward game
what a relief to throw it out
and never again shall i write a poem
with a blackberry seed in mouth.

you leave
i lose. my liver
starts to quiver
the snake can't slither
and my heart
needs to ****.

it's just gas, don't know why i'm such a drama twist

With grandpa's avocado farts
As in the days of moses
The red sea parts.
When grandpa gets a chuckle
I'm contagious
Pretty outrageous
Your naughty sincere uncle.
When gramps takes off his pants
Let's dance.

I think I'm getting a little older
Now that my ****'s are turning gray
My Beard's turning to gas
And I have ***** hair's
Crawling out of my -

A special invite i got
To a ballroom party today.
Do I look like a ballroomer,
I'm a filth **** dirt
Hard working man who plows his field.
I'm not meant for some fancy suit dancing.
Unless.
There's a fine poetry lady to dance with me
Then I'll be whatever the invite wants me to be.

Did you hear about the butcher who backed into the meat grinder? He got behind in his work.

How do you embarrass an archaeologist? Give him a used ****** and ask him which period it came from.

What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend? Wiped his ****!

What did the toaster say to the slice of bread?  I want you inside me!

What kind of bee's produce milk?
******* .