I'm a destructive mass of passions
and I will never fall in love the same way twice.
the first two were easy
but the third was my vice.

he left me
while he loved me
and I swore I left my body.

the ocean never seemed so vast.

for a moment I touched the face
of something worthy of every ounce
of love I could muster.

but the tides change
and I never learned how to swim.

I talk white they say
Dress white
Act white they say
That's why all the black boys want me
Why the white boys wanna try and **** me
Even though colored girls aren't they're cup of tea
My light skin is a kink
The way i enunciate makes me a fetish
The last black women my daddy shared a bed with was my mother
So why my daddy gotta ask about the companions of my slumber.
I act white they say but ask me
Is my *** phat?
Do i twerk.
I dress white
But they think it's okay to ask me
If they can touch my hair
A white boy once said it reminded him im a ****** even though my skin is fair.
How many white boys gotta stick they're fingers in my roots
To find the truth.
When you say I act white
What you mean is I'm not a stereotype.
You're pretty for a black girl
Talk good
For a black girl
Snap snap hey hey girl
Let me slide in
Thick thighs girl.
You're mixed right?
No way a sister could sound
So bright.
Tell me about your origins miss thang.
Let me put them other boys to shame,
I can buy you top shelf,
Get your rent paid
Better than the boy you wifed up to.
Lil shawty you should smile more,
It's a compliment ****
Stuck up *****.
Do i act too white
Cause I'll never start a fight
Is it white to get a degree
And make my own money.
Touch my hair if you forgot
White is not synonymous with superior
Cause amanda does squats to get an *** like ruwanda.
Remember i got a college dregree
Before you say some ignorant **** to me
Act White?
How dare you
Assume my character
Is defined by a color.

Why be alone
When you can pine after apparitions
Of something better.
The good and the
Bad of it is
We don't always get what we deserve.
Why be bad
When you can fail at self improvement.
You're just a lil baby
Stumbling
Lil brat of some selfish lil ****
And that's why boys don't like to love you
But they love to use you.
Why feel sad when
You can choose to be happy you idiot.
Be mindful.
Be quiet.
Don't argue.
Don't prove yourself.
Don't care.
Pay your rent on time.
Be ****.
Be brave.
Be confident.
Submit.
Why be anything at all
When there's a great big ocean
For you to walk into.

he played with me
like I wasn't this delicate
beautiful thing;
because he knew I didn't want to be.

people take caution around beauty,
people fear this intangible thing.
they have it
or they want it
but it's not to be understood.

your steps are lighter
when you can't breathe.

and beauty brings forth
great suffering.

I have a big HURT where
my heart used to be.

I have a big EMPTY
that fills me with dread.

I have a red hot skewer
running through me,
making me
hot with anger.

(I have a big REGRET
that I am here.)

Misunderstood,
Such a cliche thing to be.
I'm a user.
I'm a rude girl with a bad attitude.
I don't respond to authority well.
Clingy.
Selfish.
Pessimistic punk.
Teach me a lesson about my own existence.
Tell me not to roll my eyes.
It's instinct,
Like your inability to spew anything but verbal ****.
Tell me how it's because I'm young.
I know everything.
When I hear laughter I assume it's at my expense.
You don't like me,
What a big ******* surprise.
Thanks for giving me a reason to give up.