the sign says “beware”
and toxic air is everywhere.
nightmares want you to become more aware
so it must be fair
that you aren’t the one who gets to feel their glare.
it must be easier for you to say “take care”
than to actually be there.

you and I
in the same space and time
is just undignified
my heart denied
dug up
glorified
you shut the door
and locked me outside
a sudden way to learn
the notion of goodbye

mistaken as civil,
but I am just still.
I am just sitting.
perfectly,
remarkably still.

a new dimension,
as warms tones welcome the cold air.
I watch the maple trees morph
simply,
they will shake off their dead weight
becoming bare
exposing their branches for a bitter winter.
firmly rooted,
safe and sound.

in your own world
repainting the walls
dying your hair
combatting the urge to make it all fall.
how I could make you see
this isn’t a limited belief
silent
your expectations of me

intentions go back and forth
I love you,
I love you nots.
this moment
alone,
we are silent.
a seat on my porch
and a chance to miss you so.
give in,
then release.
my memory labeled false,
just a kiss-
to feel a pulse
here,
in this moment,
who is going to be at fault?

nothing
dark
light
someplace different
which would it be?
courage
to conquer what’s inside my head
wasted youth bled into what’s up ahead
I’m probably just going to go to bed,
afraid of every thought
I wish to shed.