Phoenix Rising

Phoenix Rising Aug 2017

J

His eyes shimmered.

No need for the shine of a burning star
nor the glare of the moonlight...
For the warmth of his heart lit the path to my sanctuary.
"I love you, too", I replied.

#love

Phoenix Rising Jul 2017

Jordan

I fell in love
with your face and picture.
When I first saw you,
I didn't know what to do.

When I saw you,
in person, too.
I never knew
how much I'd fall for you.

Now, I'm really scared.
I don't know what to do.
Please excuse me,
please don't be afraid of me.

I swear I'm safe,
and I will try my best to never hurt you.
I'll try my best to never, ever hurt you.
I won't do what the others did to you.

I can see it in your eyes,
you're just as scared as I feel
and I won't show it
but I know we both feel the same.

I don't know what to tell you,
I think I love you, too.
And I'm so scared that you don't see it.

What am I supposed to do?
I'm just a girl
I'm only 22.

But the world feels so old,
the world feels so cold,
and I feel so old.

I know I'm still so young,
but trust my tongue
when I say you are what I am thinking of.

Please don't mistake my words as new,
I know what you have been through.
I've been through it, too.

At least a thousand times before.

Phoenix Rising Jul 2017

Downfall/Uprise (Eb Gm Bb Am)

Sometimes, I wake up and I wonder
How I ended up inside
...Ended up inside
Sometimes, I wonder
How did we fall...
For such a simple trick
That everyone says that they'll never fall for
when they fall in love.
You said you'd never do the things you do.
You said you'd never fall in love again.
You said you'd never do the things you do.
Then why, why, why
do we not know better?
Not know better?
Farther down the truth....
Farther down the truth...
So far away from you.
Farther down the truth.
So called truth.
I thought I loved you from the start.
I thought I loved you from the heart.
I thought this was about you.
But in the end,
it's always about me.
In the end,
it's always about me.
In the end,
it's always about...

#roughdraftsong #poem #songiwrote #song #music #ukulele #love #sad #breakup #brokeup

Phoenix Rising Jul 2017

God doesn't exist; That benefits you

No more war.
Within yourself.
With the world.
No more war.

No more guilt.
No more hating yourself
for feeling tempted over
your natural desire to procreate, feel, live.
No more guilt.

No one will have power of you.
You own a mind and a body.
Don't let something or someone you have never met control it.
No one will have power of you.

God is a silly word and concept.
If any, God exists within you.
You are the choices you make.
Perception is up to you.
Don't let anyone control that.

Morality is what makes us human/civilization.
Don't ever think you need an imaginary friend for that.

Phoenix Rising Jul 2017

Fake

Self-entitled brat
from a dirt path,
she waves her ******* out the car
while blasting ****** rap.
Where social anxiety is cool
and a fad,
where pastels in your hair matter more
than the way you act.
Yeah, she thinks she's a yuppie
with a daddy
What a rude awakenin'
she gonna have.
Once she is older
and her personality is a drag.

Phoenix Rising Jul 2017

But...

...I do care.

Phoenix Rising Apr 2017

Untitled

Abuse can be present and still be so subtle that the person doing the abuse and the person experiencing the abuse don’t realize what is happening at the time. Not everything is text-book perfect, in life. Not everything is black and white. Abuse isn’t always intentional. Screaming every day, ignoring every day, choosing partners over child, choosing partners’ offspring over your own child, belittling, singling out, calling out, never touching, quick changing-environments (moving in with boyfriend’s after only a couple months, risking child’s safety—which includes mental health)…..is a form of abuse and neglect. Please understand that I must emphasize how this was literally every day of my life. Constant chaos is all I know.

I am a warrior. I just haven’t reached the good part of that story in my life, yet. I like to think someday, all this **** I went through was for something. I hope that something is me becoming strong. I hope I truly understand how to use the pain of the past as a tool to get me through tougher times. I hope that this wasn’t all for nothing. I will never recreate that hell for my own child, that’s for sure.