i want to grow with you and see how your limbs change with the seasons
how your skin grows pale as snow
your eyes warming with an impending chill
something has to keep us warm

I want to shower you in flowers and stars and endless love

It's not very poetic
I just really want to
sit on your face

**** water and hot tea
i love when you wake up with me
our eyes roll back to earth
we melt
i can't remember the last time i cared so much
i felt
true emotions that make me high
i wanna hit the L and hold you like a baby
one of these days you'll tell me you love me
maybe

I.

We exchanged sterling rings beneath a massive willow that wept for us as we carved our names into her and mutilated the thick skin of her base.

II.

You smelled like oak and patchouli and I smelled like gratuitous humility to be wrapping myself up around you like silver paper on a precious stone.

III.

You wore white and I wore black to match our deepest energies that whirl and dance and create beautiful creamy grey when we make love.

IV.

Under twinkling, tiny lights that looked like stars or fairies we linked pinkies amongst the dwindling sun light and an anxious moon.

V.

Our bodies begin to melt and disintegrate because the sparks are becoming too electrified and molten.

my heart has turned to burlap
knotting itself up so it won’t remain open
so it can’t let you soften me up like purple wax in the sun
no more
you’ve spread your love so thin that i can see through it
blatantly watching you singing the same lullaby with your heart-shaped eyes to everyone
and i still want you

Red beads wrapped around my lady legs

Red potato skins still crawling through Southern dregs

Red lipstick, too expensive for sad my two lips live

Red lights, stop signs. Oh how much I would give

To see you smile

And stay a while

Let's pretend we don't exist

Red burns from falling down

In those sweet eyes, I feel no lies

Take me, embrace me

Red, red, red

I want to write your name on every solid surface I find so everyone can marvel at it's spelling

Waiting for a train to come
a quick fragrance hits me
and immediately I am reminded of you
The path I'm taking
Seeking comfort
subway lines
Match
Like socks
The train is here
Off I go

oh, i say, we've found the truth
conjoined love binds us in love.
What could I even call 'me'?
I know I'm human but...
There is this calling
It guides my heart to an open pasture
acres of wheat and wild flowers murdered by an electric fascist.
I stand idly. Much of this "work" is just self-reflection.
Circumstances could always be worse.
Knowledge is power. Knowledge is strength. Knowledge is honor.

My father taught me a hundred yoga poses
He told me to stretch myself into the trees until my arms become branches

Your roommates are the best people I've ever met and it makes me so sad that I can't play card games or hug them anymore.
2. My taste in music is so much better now because of you.
3. How did I not drink in every prolonged glance you shared with me?
4. I can't listen to Deer Tick anymore because it makes me miss your arms around me at their concert.
5. Your mom is so much cooler than my mom.
6. I felt smarter when I was with you.
7. We should've eaten more.
8. You were right to be angry when I was too tired to go out.
9. The scent of your stomach haunts me.
10. Easter will never be as special as the day I spent with your family.

the string of thoughts that runs through my mind is longer than the hair caught between our lips

i run long strands of golden blonde across your open lips, as you burry me in olive colored skin and white bones

you asked me to cut your hair

i cut you until you called me beautiful

every word you write is not for me and never will be
unfortunately
i'm not stupid

There’s a void inside my chest
It’s vast and deep and penetrating
My shoulders sink
Gentle embraces and long kisses
fill it up
But in the end
The creator was you

I want to be your favorite piece of music that you play in the dead of night when you can't fall back asleep.

bones flowing in golden space
strands of hair separating
limbs cascading forward
fingers grazing heaven
toes beneath the earth

roots buried deep
that tangled around flesh
you are buried so deep
the pride in your roots makes me so happy

I disappeared last week
fell madly in love with Washington D.C.
Kissed my high school sweet thing and went to a Zoo with him
His eyes and fingertips penetrating my psyche
Fat and ugly red eyes as I left my temporary Paradiso
It's good that love like that only exists in small doses.
I hope one day I can return to the land of Gods & Devils
where all I want is drink and a deep kiss
a line and  an inhale
a now or a never

It's self-explanatory

pale face
empty space
your ghost is gone from this tiny place
the weight begs
between my legs
your smell remains
across the plains
of the table where you left your pain
now i'm on my own
all alone
moan
groan
here
alone

don't give me a reason
don't pretend you weren't around
you can't expect me to love you
when you don't give a blatant ****

you want to know
my
true
feelings
well ******* for lying to me
******* for wasting my time
well ******* for pretending to like me
and ******* for wasting my love
*******
*******

blood on the keys
flashing turquoise lights that run rampant across the faceless bodies
bed shifter

my heart hurts
i don't mean to be this way
i push and push and push and push
and then i wonder why you leave
please ******* don't go
you have to understand that i can't control my actions
years and years of berating love have made me hard
when i begin to get soft
it scares the hell out of me.
it scares the living hell out of me.
just please don't go.
we've barely spent any time together and i'm
yours.
I am
only yours.

i spend most nights at your house
we wake up every morning
the same buzzing ringing in my ears
it seems to come from the same place
but not a familiar place
and when you don’t answer it
we all understand
it’s just not time yet
it’s not time to make decisions like that
it’s not time to grow up.

i've been so lost
to the point
of
digust
of myself
and you
making me
so low

I.

Two lost birds searching for a warm nest in
the dead, wet winter through crystalline castles of
grey and black snow.

II.

Quilted blankets on the ground covered all the broken glass as we
listened to old music and pretended that
we weren’t smiling so much.

III.

I have splinters on my hands and legs from the bench on
the huge rock on the mountain where
we first kissed.

IV.

The juniper trees are still as green as the day you
fell asleep in my lap during
the thunder storm.

V.

You wrote your name with your tongue on
my neck that’s covered with bruises and
is white like the snow that never came.

gnawing hunger
i can hear you breathe
through the walls

the most important thing you ever taught me
to be in the moment and
to be thankful and
to be open and
and to be beautiful.

saucer eyes
desperate tries
under eyelash spies
the melody flies
my skin fries
why?

To you
I owe nothing
yet I give you everything

To me
you owe nothing
yet you take everything

I never learned to trust myself because I never learned to ride a bike.

I am my own worst enemy that is hell-bent on keeping me alone

the sky above walgreens looks like water color
i hear "it's never..." outside my street screamed
the past four nights have been a blur of panic as the yuletide approaches

I look on this gradient sky,
in a city i lost three years ago

but i'm still here.

I truly
CANNOT
WAIT
to not love you anymore

you're like alcohol because you make me feel like I'm being wasted. you're like alcohol because I always feel sick after a night binging on you.

despite the small time

and the cold nights half-sleeping

i still enjoy it

just
so
you know
i'm
not
hanging around
much
longer

I dream about you every night
Baby
Love
I remember the way your unshaven cheek used to hurt my chin
We would kiss so deeply that it felt like we are fused
Your name rings through my head at 3 am when I wake up sweating
God
You are such a beautiful ghost now
Thank you for remaining in my dreams
At least you didn't abandon me there
My tongue is still poisoned by moaning your name over and over
Oh love
I wish it was two years ago and you still found me magical
Nothing measures up to us
Wherever you are though
God
I hope you're happy
You were so beautiful when you smiled
I try not to miss you
It's hard when no one cares
You were the hero I wanted
I'm sorry it took me so long to realize
Wasting my emotions on empty vessels
On ones who don't appreciate my love
You were then, now, and enternity.
Please don't stop visiting my dreams.
We get along well in there.

I can't sleep because I miss the way your room and body felt wrapped around me better than any blanket could.

you are a liar
stop pretending that you care
it's making me sick

in my imaginary past
he held me
with sharp elbows and bare knuckles

i am so comfortable

how will i survive
knowing you are in heaven
waiting for me to make a mistake

when your lips purse in your deep sleep
every inches twitch
i'm there
you make love love again
you make feel feel again
i wish i could buy you the world because I know you'd buy me one first
the sparkles, the shine, the glitter, the radiance
trees and train tracks
teeth and crooked smiles
with comfort food on our breath
seconded handed clothes
a Goodwill vinyl
early morning with limbs like old tires wrapped
if i could be Jimmy Stewart. I would.

Esto leboue abache
Furgate en quinso

Pixels streaming like shooting stars
Artificial openings that are so disingenuous when I’ve seen the way your smile makes all light bulbs burst in jealousy from the light you radiate
“Just be yourself.”
The most honest advice to give.
No malice.
The hardest advice to take.
“Do they even know me?”
The calm sometimes doesn’t come after the storm.
Sometimes it sits and waits.
Slowly curling around toes
Casually slithering up to your belly
Nausea
Prancing up to your heart
Anxiety
Pridefully slinking to your throat
Tongue-tied as it swells like an angry ocean
And finally making rest in your cerebellum
I asked
Where it spreads out, limbs long, and smirking
This poison you willingly drink that is masked by sugar and ego
Let the glass engorged with the evil elixir that alerts you of your short comings shatter on the tile floor
Remove the blinking screen from your face that is slowly becoming a Shakespearean tragedy
Disconnect
Connect to eye contact that isn’t shielded by WiFi

Please don't **** her
it's written backwards on my hand, my six year old wrists and my eyes that have been stung by spray paint i turned into a angsty manifesto
panting like a dog
begging you to stay
begging

you were a walking nightmare
i need to evict you from my dreams

every mall, every antique store, every show, every high school reunion, every time I was dripping in glitter and perfume

leave my hometown and gravy heart alone...
the way you would get so angry when I couldn't be perfect.

You have ignited embers in my soul
The ones I thought would never catch flame again.

96 is too long
5 words created stale mosquito water that resides somewhere between an alley and an abandoned Pharmacy
Wanting a taste of ashes
Like pigeons pecking at a pastry

i am constantly trying to throw away costumes of myself when people float away
when they vanish
on the 9th when you are the seventh
satin blue
with the bow
it's just brick and sawdust now.