I'm crazy and you
forget that crazy people
can do stupid thing

I never knew my mother
in ways some girls know theirs
she left in winter
My sister was only two
She grabbed her stuff
and when we weren't looking
she ran through the door
she never said 'good bye'
she never cried
were we nothing to her?
It goes through my mind
at least once a day
if my mother was here
would I be in this much pain
There was a lady
that my dad married
she didn't want anything to do with me
I was just an obstacle in the family
I've had people to look up to don't get me wrong
but no one who actually wants to be my mom
My stepmom to be
is the closest I've got
but she never has wanted to be a mom
so we are more like friends
but she takes care of me
am I not worth it
is it me
why does everyone leave
no I'm not perfect
I'm covered in scars
And I feel safest
when I'm cutting
but I promised I wouldn't
so recently
I've felt insane
Never knowing my mother isn't really my problem
it's never having a real mother

You tell me not to
I need to
You tell me to stop
I can't
It isn't worth it
it heals my pain
Please don't do it again
it's only myself that I blame
put down the blade
I put it down
Promise me you won't babe
I promise

She sat
she breathed
and the world breathed with her
she stood
she cried
and the stars cried with her
she lies
she smiles
and the sun smiles with her
never knowing she was queen
center of a whole galaxy
she kissed the boy
and the asteroids fell in love
she pretended she was fine
would she ever know
the power she has
on all of our souls
when her time is done
will someone else come
to fill her space
as the center of our universe

Every time I close my eyes
I see you still by my side
never left nor gone
your life had never worn
every now and again
you visit us from the unknown
you ring our doorbell
which is in a drawer
and sometimes I feel
you are just here
watching over
the girl
the girl who hurts so much
whose life she wished
would disappear
you keep her safe
and she knows you're there
and she isn't hopeless

FREAK
YOU FREAK
ARE WE TRIGGERING YOU
Do we take the power away from you
Are you still scared
like you were in the spring
no because you realize now
we are taking over
because you are a freak