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  Jun 2019 Chelsea Rae
Mal
You were like a rose
I held onto you for too long
And you hurt me
  Jun 2019 Chelsea Rae
CataclysticEvent
Depression
Being so tired you can't get up.
You can't drag yourself out of bed.
Anxiety
Being so wound up you can't sleep.
You can't sit still without feeling like
Your skin will crawl off.
It's a weird feeling having both at once.
Like you can't move,
But under your skin in vibrating.
Chelsea Rae Jun 2019
Why am I two different people
Inside my head
And who I really am?

Or is who I really am
Just all inside my head?

Maybe I don't know who I am
At all
And maybe I never did.
I feel like I'm never consistent. Why am I brave one day and terrified the next? Why am I even me? Who even is me? Is us?
Chelsea Rae Jun 2019
My
Incessant
Struggle to
Understand myself.
No one else
Dares to
Even
Really
Seriously
Try. Not even for
One *******
Ordinary
Day.
Constantly feeling so misunderstood.
Chelsea Rae Jun 2019
When I see the rain outside I think of serenity,
but then I see the lightning crackling across the dark purple sky,
And I remember my spurts of anger.

Then I hear the thunder rumble through my chest, shaking loose the things that have calcified into my ribcage.

Things I've tried to pry apart and chip away; the memories I've tried to rid myself of,

But I know deep inside my withering heart

That you were always the only storm
I wanted to be destroyed by.
I miss you.
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