I do not know you and logically I do not love you.
But dear god,your poetry is the sugar in my coffee and it has made me okay.
And tonight, I love you.I want to take your hands into mine.
I will recite you Pablo Neruda and my love poems. I will fix you coffee or tea and I will lay beside you until the loneliness leaves both of our hearts and pur souls meet in a binding that only two broken people can understand.
You are a star in the sky that says make a wish and you are the words that I want to be. You are powerful. Powerful beyond measure and although I have never seen your face I know that it is the most beautiful in this universe.
If I am glass and coffee and late nights then your words are a balm for my aching heart and a salve for my beating head.
And I, I am simply lucky enough to be able to bask in the fever of your prose.

I don't want to do this anymore and the voices in my head that tell me that I am doing it all wrong are back and they are screaming at me every second of the day and i miss a boy who broke my heart and doesn't want me and I must be ****** up to want him and my sister is killing herself and if I don't do something then she may be gone forever but if I do something then I will lose her forever because she will never forgive me and my other sister is being so fake and I hate myself and the guy I kind of like got a boyfriend and I fall in love with poetry and storms and laughs but they don't love me back and I am starting to realize that they won't because who could love a girl who is as broken as glass and why why why is this happening I am not asking you to save me but I could use a half because I was drowing earlier and all I could do was fall deeper

I wish it had rained earlier and that I had gotten soaked to the bones. I cried it out in the shower but it wasn't the same as dancing it away in the rain.
Every single thing I do is ******* things up. If the rain is heaven the me dancing in it creates a tornado, destroying everything in my path.
I just wanted to get rid of the pain.
I collapsed because sometimes the weight of the water pushes you down until you're not just sinking but your drowning.
I swallow the storm until it flooded out my throat and eyes and nose and then I continued shoving it deep inside me.
Sometimes death feels so sweet.
So so sweet

I'm starting to think that it's rare to find someone who doesn't have a piece of their heart left in someone else's hands that maybe there is no such thing as a true love just the love that comes last just the love that nobody else has to try to one-up I'm starting to think that maybe my dad is still in love with my mom and his new wife doesn't mind because maybe when you get older you realize that there is no such thing as wholeheartedly loving someone only loving them with the pieces that are left and maybe my girlfriend is still in love with her best friend because I saw the way he looked at her and I tried not to be jealous when they went off on their own at that party and I heard a girl say that she calls their relationship "complicated" and what the hell does that make me am I the complication and I'm trying not to be jealous but I've never made her laugh like he does and I'll probably never know her like he does and maybe all I can hope for is for her to love him from afar and love me up close maybe he is her house back in Mississippi and I am her new apartment maybe if she puts up curtains it will feel more like home I cannot explain the aching I felt in my chest when my last boyfriend said I reminded him of his ex it feels like the piece of my heart he was holding starting bleeding like maybe an artery sprung a leak because I am like her but not quite she is mural and I am replica she is mountain range and I am photograph she is morning walks on the beach and I am jar of sand I knew he was in love with her I could tell by the way he said her name after he ****** me I thought maybe second best was good enough I thought maybe if I do my make up like she does he will call me pretty today the ****** up part is that it worked the sad part is he didn't know why it hurt so bad maybe I am just hypersensitive maybe my girlfriend only loves him as a friend maybe by complicated she meant he loved her but she couldn't love him back but that's what I've been saying about that boy that said he loved me I keep telling myself I don't love him but on lonely nights he is the one I want to talk to he is always there in the back of my mind I wear his jacket when I want to feel safe because my girlfriend will probably never know me like he does maybe I will love him from afar and love her up close maybe he is my house before my dad moved out and she is his new place maybe if I hang up some paintings it will feel more like home I cannot explain the aching I felt in my chest when he said he loved me

I haven't been kissed for so long that every mouth I see screams 'possibility'.

My friend Morgan and I have not been very close at all.
But he's been nice to me again in the past few days and although my heart still craves Trevor I want to call for my friend.
And we talked about Trevor and about when we get stressed out and I admitted how bad I've been lately and how I moss being friends and I ****** it all up byoving in didn't I. I did.
But when he said no I wanted to believe him and when he said nothings changed I almost said that may be true for him but not for me because I used to get butterflies stuck in my throat when I thought of him and sometimes my lips still think of how sweet his words sound and if they would taste that sweet in my throat.
I wanted to say that everything's changed because I had fallen for you and that's why it ***** because I live here and not saying you would want to but now we cannot be together and I thought maybe we would have nights spent not talking but just watching Netflix and I thought maybe I wouldn't be so lonely and I am so sorry that I fell for the boy at the wrong time.
When I said that the guys that are decent never want me back I was talking about you.
I was talking about you