i’m not afraid of what might future holds for me, i’m  more terrified of what i’m going to lose because of me.

there are two types of sadness

there's the kind that i can't bare
so i watch friends
and listen to happy music
and find someone to talk to

then there's the other one
when you know you're sad
but you want to isolate yourself
and just
drown
in the pool of emotions
listen to sad music
read quotes about life
and
basically
just feel empty

fifteen years young, sat on the bus
burnt oranges, humid plastic seats, jolting and rattling with every bump in the sweltering pavement
told a stranger I wanted to be extraordinary someday
he laughed, ordinary is better, he said, I sat confused
this is extraordinary, he told me, pointed to my smile, I didn't understand
all I ever wanted was to build cathedrals that stretched for miles and miles and light fires on everything bad in this world, give a piece of my heart to the sky, create fireworks that echoed back in the reflection of every curious eye,
I stood before the crowds for too long alone I couldn't see past my wistfulness
the walls started crumbling and the fires spread to the good parts and my heart couldn't handle the feeling of being so alive
not fifteen anymore, I sit on the bus, still
jolting and rattling down the road, I realize it now
those trees stretching to the clouds are cathedrals and lighting fires isn't as effective as a single kind heart, my heart sustained from above, curious eyes have a need to be fixed on something much greater
ordinary is extraordinary, your smile, especially
you just have to look harder, I hope you'll see it too

I had been clean
From the red lines
That cover my arms
That appear
Each time the voices
In my head
Get louder
And meaner

I had been clean
For 2 weeks
An all time
Record
For me

But I broke

I broke because
The voices filled my mind
With evil and
Self-loathing
Thoughts
And I just couldn't
Handle it

And somewhere
Deep in my dying heart
I deserve it.

-e.w.

Kiss my tears away. Kiss them away.
I need you.
I used to believe in fairy tales and now I'll settle for someone who just grabs me tight and lives me until I fall asleep.
Make my hands hurt from writing so much **** poetry about you.
Promise me you won't go and keep it.
Just ******* keep it.
When you read this know that km crying and missing you and I don't know you but my heart does. But my soul does.
These bruises in my skin. These scratches on my back are from trying to fill a void that is so far inside of me I can't even see the bottom.
Bit I'm looking and I'm stepping and   screaming the words to this Ron pope song in hopes that they materialize in the form of you.
I will hold your hand and make you laugh. I will kiss you until you can't breathe. I will live you until all you know is love.
I'm here. Waiting. Searching. I know you are too.
Take my hand. Let's rest

As I kiss your
Cigarette stained mouth
You whisper
I love you.
Let's drink coffee and talk about
The universe.
Ignore the world in front
Of us