As I slash the flesh from my wrist
And the blood from my veins grow hot,
I count the seconds until the light from my eyes fade away
And as I'm drowning out I see flashes of memories here and there
But the ones that stand out the most are the ones who led me to do this to myself.
The only form of escape I have.

"You're tired, aren't you?"*

Not in the way that you think.

Maybe it's true
That someone won't cross the sea for me
Walk through fire for me
Or fight for me...

But that's okay, cause I have myself
And I'm the only person that I ever really need

Why is it that the nights fill me with sadness?

You always want to know how my day has gone
You try to make me laugh when I'm down
You tell me how you want to be with me all day long

You ask me how I am every single day
You say you love all of my imperfections
Nothing else screams "I love you" more than your subtle ways

And I really appreciate all that you do for me
But the sad truth is
As hard as I've tried, I just can't love you as much as you love me

I want to tell you how I feel
But when I'm with you
My heart stops
My mouth opens, but I'm left speechless
I try to make out the words my heart has told my mind
But all that comes out are a slur of words; nothing's understandable
I don't want the beautiful words I have to say to you
Turn into a mess of unfinished thoughts
So maybe I think I'll say nothing at all...

"How are you?"

"I'm okay."

"Are you really?"*

                 ...

And I am left speechless.

I used to like being alone because I had time to think.

Now I fear being alone, because there's too many things on my mind.

You're like the sun,

You light up my life,
But you also burn me.

Curse my sense of touch.
Because of it, I wouldn't have thought that the feeling of being in your arms felt like I was finally home.

Curse my sense of smell.
Because of it, I inhaled your aroma when I hugged you; it's addictive.

Curse my sense of hearing.
Because of it, I was able to hear your voice and every time you spoke it was so soothing and intriguing.

Curse my eyes.
Because of them, I was able to see your beautiful face.

Curse my mind, for keeping you there all the time
And curse my heart, for thinking you were the one.

Lately I have lacked a great deal of inspiration to write...
Why is it? Why can't words flow in my head? Is this even right ?

It is said that a person picks up a pen when they're falling in love or their heart has shattered...

That's what pain truly feels like,
A constant roaming in the shadows of the night

You have a face full of beauty,
Sadly a mouth full of lies

Forked tongue spitting venom like a snake's duty,
But oh how I still miss you when I look at the sky

I remember the good times we had like if it were yesterday,
But I never saw this coming, never thought I'd have to say goodbye

What more is there even left to say,
But just let out a relinquishing sigh

Although my heart aches at the thought of being apart from you,
I will walk away, for you have opened my eyes

The harsh reality that I was a speed bump,
On your journey to find the one

I thought there was love between us,
But I should've known that before it even started we were already done.

How cruel of you to come into my life
And convert the gray around me into rainbows

And when I'm finally able to see colors
You leave and take them along with you...

Why can't I get you off my mind?
Your name plays over and over in
my head all the time
I can't seem to think about something other than you
I love you, that's true
But why does the thought of you make me sad and blue?

He has no idea how much he means to me

He is just so beautiful

And I love him so much...

But then again, who am I to deserve someone as special as him?

I saw her one day, at school
She was absolutely gorgeous and I was too shy
She looked like a model while I just loved to eat all day and all night
I knew I had zero chance with her, but I decided to give it a try

I approached her at lunch, I said "Hey"
She smiled and started a conversation
I couldn't have been happier that day

We started hanging out together since then
But my spirits dropped when a guy much more 'fit' tried to win her heart
And one day when we were  talking he came up and asked her to be his girlfriend

I could feel tears coming out of my eyes
But of joy not sadness because she said
"Oh sorry. I'm dating this guy," and pointed to me

Later when we were alone she confessed that she liked me
I asked her "Why? I'm just curves, the kind people don't wanna see"
She said " I don't care what you look like, because I care for what's inside
Besides, there's only

One                                           Me
        
       Curve                            To
          
                  ­That      Matters

Before I'd give up everything for you
And I thought you felt the same too

Funny how a sentence, even a word, can change it all

Maybe I have realized too late  
But now I know that your pretty face
Was not worth the wait.

Words can hurt,
But the silence kills me.

Some people smoke
Some people drink
Some people do drugs
And others fall in love

They all die in different ways

Tell me...
Why can't I find what others have found?

Why hasn't that "someone" arrived yet?
The person that I will cross paths with; not by accident but by destiny
The person that will come into my life to stay
The person that will adore me with every bit of their heart
And show me that love is not conditional?

Here obsessing over celebrities and singers that don't even know I exist

In love with fictional characters that are only part of a story

And falling for strangers I won't ever see again

"You're very quiet," he says.
"You don't speak much, do you?" He says.

Darling, I've got a lot too say;
I'm just afraid of making a mistake.

She loved him.
He loved her.

So why did it end?

Because love and compatibility are not the same thing.

I feel empty
I feel broken
I feel like I'm dying inside
I feel sad
I am depressed
But I hide my pain with fake smiles and laughs
I will still prepare myself for what will arrive
But all I can do right now here on my arms where I shed my sorrow
Is just hope that there'll be a better tomorrow.

If you enjoy the sun, then go outside, have fun.

Just remember that each time you go outside, wear sunblock every time

Or else you'll get burned.

You used to love me when I still didn't realize that I too, loved you back
You fell right away, too fast,
While I had my eyes closed, still hanging in the air

Now that I have finally opened my eyes, and know that I have really fallen

Sadly, I fell too late, too late...

Now it is I who loves you too much when you've already stood up from the ground and walked away.

My question is, where will all this love go now?

Just thinking about the person I could've been kissing
Thinking about the person I'll forever be missing

Thinking about all the mistakes I've made
How I can never correct them, for it is too late

Thinking about how you were mine all along
But you never know what you have until it's gone

Promises are lies
They're never guaranteed
Because
Promises are never... promised.
But somehow, we still choose to believe in them
Because it's the only thing we can hold onto
That gives us a small ray of hope
That promises made
Will be promises kept.

When you looked at me maybe your pupils didn't dilate

And maybe when you looked at me you didn't
feel that rapid heartbeat in your chest  

But the lack of affection didn't break me down

It was my extremely high levels of adrenaline and dopamine
I got everytime I was with you that turned me into a cadaver

This little kid and I were talking the other day...

Look at my knees! They're all bruised because I fall a lot!
Ouch, that must hurt.
A little. Do you have any bruises?
Oh yes. I have a really big one somewhere.

He looks down at my knees, but sees nothing. Then he looks at my arms, and sees nothing either.

What? I don't see any. Where is it?
Here.

With my index finger, I point at my heart.

Your heart? How can you have a bruise in your heart? I don't get it.
**You will when you fall in love, kid.

I'm gonna miss you.
That's all I can really say.