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Marlow Jun 2016
Shot down. The reason being who a person loves.
This is no longer a coincidence, violence seems to be a scene of a movie that nobody can seem to get over.
Shot down. Another reason being you and me are alive and breathing.
"**** happens" it's not an occasional occurrence to the person that loses someone.
Shot down for the main reason that some people don't understand that that no matter what, we can be sheltered for quite some time, but sooner or later we have to step outside and realize what's really happening.
  Jun 2016 Marlow
Don't fall in love with a girl who reads.
The girl who feels everything, who dreams, who writes..

Fall in love with the girl you find in a bar. Find her in the squall of smoke and sweat of an upscale nightclub. Make sure she doesn't mix her coffee with bourbon. Love the one shooting tequila straight from a cheap, half-empty bottle. Wherever you find her, find her smiling. Make sure it lingers a little too long. Use pickup lines and entertain her with meaningless slurs from a long day and mistakes you know are about to be made. Take her outside and kiss her in the rain because you saw it in a film. Comment on its silliness.

Pull her into a tolerable relationship. Let the months pass by without remark. Then let years pass by unnoticed. Talk about nothing of significance and retreat into it when the air grows stale and the evenings become long. Fight about how the shower curtain needs to be kept closed. Propose a little later because you realize you'd have wasted so much time otherwise. Take her to a restaurant that wreaks of marinara sauce and sheepishly ask the waiter to bring a bottle of expensive champagne. Offer up a modest ring and don't become too concerned if you feel nothing of sincerity or commitment. But fake it, ******* it.

Do these things. Because a life lived in purgatory is better than one lived in hell. She will make it hell. I'm begging you, stay away from the one who reads. Who laughs or cries when she makes love. Who can neatly fold her spirit and spin it into prose and poetry. If she loves poetry, run away. Don't dare to look back. She is to be left alone. Dangerous little smiles should make you shake. Do not smile back.

Do not fall in love with a girl who thinks. Who is made up of magic and knows herself. Do not love the one who knows how to disappear inside of a book or a poem or a painting. If she spends any more than a few seconds looking into the eyes of a sinner, get out of there.

Don't fall in love with the girl who is interested in politics, who feels disease in injustices. Don't love the one who is intense, who is lucid and charismatic. Stay away from the one who has any sense of ambition, of rebellion, or even the smallest hint of wonder in her eyes. Be cautious of the ones who can't live without music. If she can draw, quit, and quit fast.

A girl who reads is one who knows herself; who is sure. She is educated and she is fire inside a bottle of rye. The girl who reads is one who is comfortable with goodbyes. Think about it: she's read millions of novels and each one ends. Most end with the death of her favorite character. They make her think. And she flies through the pages like they are wet wine on collarbones. And she is okay with each and every ending. Sure, she might cry, but she'll wipe her face and pick up another book. Just to do it all over again. Remember this if she ever says her favorite book is you.

She is a romantic and how can you match up to the princes and heroes in her books? She knows nothing else. You can't love her the way those characters could if they were to take shape. She holds a vocabulary that lays claim to her ability to distinguish between the specious and the soulless. She holds rhetoric hands that turn black streaks into the books she loves so deeply. She deserves a man who can hold her hand the way she holds her books. Someone who can write her notes and hide them in her lunch box. Can you write in cursive the way she can?

Please, don't fall in love with a girl who reads. Because a girl like that, you never come back from.
Marlow Jun 2016
The moment your eyes sparkled in the midst of talking about another person is the moment my heart shattered.
Sure I kept denying that you didn't love me, that the person that you shared I love yous with wasn't just me or your family, no, it was this person that you had been in love with for ages. Deep down I know you're over my drawings,
over my sadness,
over my joy,
over me.
To get away was all I could see.
Plane tickets were the only way I could cope with the pain.
Traveling. Not running from you or your newfound lover. Traveling.
Eventually I had to come back from it all and face the fact that you were no longer my lover but their lover.
Marlow Jun 2016
Blades of grass laying in the bottom of a bin underneath the trash of yesterday's sorrows.
The grass is silver and there isn't enough time to register that this isn't really grass... These are blades from my past and present and grim future.
Blades that slice open my left arm and my right leg.
The wind blows my right arm to make the grass blades dance across my skin.
It cuts so deeply that my need to feel something, turns into the need to feel nothing.
Physical pain was the least of my worries.
The emotional pain was worse than any bruise I got from my family.
The fact that leaving them, the people who torched my childhood, hurt worse than actually loving them.
Marlow Jan 2016
"I'm tired mommy" I say as merely a child.
This is the type of tired sleep could fix...

This was a long time ago and now I'm a teen
"I'm tired mom" I say this often and I sleep so much that I'm tired just because of sleep.
This is the type of tired sleep causes...

What about the tiredness I feel everyday, every morning after I had a good nights rest.
What about the "I'm tired" that I say every day to people around me; yet they don't understand that me being tired isn't the kind that sleep can fix.

Me being tired is the kind that doctors prescribe medication for, they try and make me better; in the end all the medication in the world cannot fix me.
Always tired.
Always tired.
Always tired.
It's an arsenal of one phrase that my mind repeats that has more than one meaning.
Always tired is just as bad as my mind saying "you're always sad, you're a disappointment, nobody will love you because you're like this, just go **** yourself; people would care but would you?"

Always tired is my code word for "hey mom I'm not really tired I'm just really depressed and I need that therapy appointment I asked you for but you turned it down because I didn't have a reason for it".

"I'm tired mommy" I whisper as my dying words slip past my lips.
This is the type of tired sleep can't fix but death can.
Marlow Apr 2015
I live in a lifeless society
This is a society where people are sad,
If they aren't sad they are full of joy;
They must have a nice life, hidden from the dangers and darkness.
This society looks down on people,
People who aren't perfect,
People who are different,
 People who are teens,
People who aren't famous,
Girls without thigh gaps,
Girls that don't follow the trends,
Guys that aren't popular,
Guys that don't always get the girls,
People who are broken.
We are the broken,
We keep each other up;
While society beats us down 
We remain strong for each other.
Some of us aren't strong enough,
Society beats us to death;
Giving us more reasons
To leave and escape our lives.
Our Society is lifeless,
Nobody can change it. 
Society doesn't care until you have disappeared;
Even then society will be lifeless.

— The End —