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Jan 2016
"I'm tired mommy" I say as merely a child.
This is the type of tired sleep could fix...

This was a long time ago and now I'm a teen
"I'm tired mom" I say this often and I sleep so much that I'm tired just because of sleep.
This is the type of tired sleep causes...

What about the tiredness I feel everyday, every morning after I had a good nights rest.
What about the "I'm tired" that I say every day to people around me; yet they don't understand that me being tired isn't the kind that sleep can fix.

Me being tired is the kind that doctors prescribe medication for, they try and make me better; in the end all the medication in the world cannot fix me.
Always tired.
Always tired.
Always tired.
It's an arsenal of one phrase that my mind repeats that has more than one meaning.
Always tired is just as bad as my mind saying "you're always sad, you're a disappointment, nobody will love you because you're like this, just go **** yourself; people would care but would you?"

Always tired is my code word for "hey mom I'm not really tired I'm just really depressed and I need that therapy appointment I asked you for but you turned it down because I didn't have a reason for it".

"I'm tired mommy" I whisper as my dying words slip past my lips.
This is the type of tired sleep can't fix but death can.
Marlow
Written by
Marlow
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