Prayed to a God
who didn't even know my name
kneeled in the pews
praying I could make it
into the pearly gates

My hands clasped
and my hand held down
trying to keep quiet
never allowed to step out of line
messing up could mean]
burning for eternity

Now I'm shedding my old skin
tearing up my church dress
and throwing away those painful shoes
stepping off the "right" path
and learning to fall
falling into my own arms
and learning to save myself

It all fades away one day
who cares what name I give
the thing I worship
so long as I can be kind?
If I know how to love
does it really matter if I believe
in Heaven or Hell?

I used to think the church was holy
the temple held sacred ground
now I see it
as a monument
to a dead and old promise
a lie from the start

You promised me you'd love me
but now you can't even say my name
can't look at me now I've changed
and I'm more free than ever
don't need your chaining lies
when I can be free in the sky

There's something more holy
about a quiet, soft rain
or a dried flower on my shelf
than anything you'd find in the blinding white

At best, it's a simple misunderstanding
a mistake of judgement
not quite getting it
at worst they **** with you lies
and misinformation
and have the gall to claim it
the "priesthood power"

We need a new God
we need something to save us
keep us from the sin
that's killing us just as much
as we **** each other

I can't believe in
"selfless love" when you need me
to fit the mold in order to love me
there is no "promise" here
in the dark
only a hope and a freedom
I gave myself these wings
and I won't let you burn the feathers

I suppose to say
I've fallen like Icarus
might be a little cliche
but it's true, I suppose
in a way

Icarus fell for hubris
and I suppose I did too
I thought I could fix it
I thought it could make it right
and now it's even worse

Acronym has no antonym
and initialism no synonym
they are the only celibate
encyclopaedia file words,
always separate in Pears!

Maybe you will survive
when the storm is over but
you will never be the same.
It will leave you broken and scattered,
like the ruins of a city and
uprooted like its trees.
Only a wasteland will remain,
to which you will have to
refill with lessons learnt.

My dad’s been taking pills
I’m not sure how to feel

About the strange itch
At the back of my
Throat

The horrid *****
In the corner of my
Eyes

The dull ache
In my rising
Chest

His arms around me
His love surrounds me
Like the cold water brushing against my
Neck

Amidst the blue abyss
Of nothingness
The sunlight burns the back of
Eyelids

Still, they refuse to open
I am nearly asleep
His are facing the black sand

Look at me
I’m everything you’ve never wanted
I’m everything you’ve wanted to be

Honey, don’t cry,
And don’t you ever!
A diamond will fetch its highest prize
If you shed one tiny tear!
And honey, don’t you ever be sad,
You’re faster than the brightest comet,
So the past won’t haunt you
Even if he tries very hard to.
You’re the fire, either the water,
Burning as the core of the earth
Or cold as the silence of the cosmos,
Or you’re equally powerful in between.
You’re beautiful, my darling
In your very own way
You’re nature made
You’re who you yourself made
One and only among this vast Milky Way.