I never thought I'd cry over someone who is there to hold my tears.
How lucky I must be to have someone at my side and another out there waiting!
I hope she knows how much she already means to me in so short a time.
Her soft hair and warm touch linger in the back of my mind.
I hear her voice whispering how amazing I am.
How did I get so lucky?

Is this what it's like to have love abundantly?
It seems to have just fallen into my lap.
I can't even keep my words together.
They just flow out of my head unrestrained as I struggle to comprehend this new feeling.
My body seems so against me, but patiently she waits for my rusty joints to ease up.
Does she know how much it means to me?
Does she know how much she means to me?

She has so many to love her and she chooses to include me.
I sit quietly in her garden of flowers--happy to be in her colorful rows.
Spoiled to receive her affection, I bask in her kindness.
God, what has happened to me!
I am hopelessly overwhelmed by her sincerity.
I'm waiting to tell her glimmering face how my heart beats toward hers.

I have never shot for the stars before
For fear of missing everything
But now I find the stars in my hand
And think that aiming high might be more than asking for failure

I have rarely dug too deeply before
For fear of missing the best cavern
But now I find that I missed more
By traveling so shallowly

I never swam so freely before
Suffocating in the air of a million poolsides and beaches
I never knew how deep joy could run
Until I tested the depth of water with both feet

When I finally let go I found
I have as many shots as there are stars
I can travel deeply in many caves without scarcity
I can breathe better in the water than I ever did on land

When I finally let go, I found
That there is truer safety in reckless abandon
Than can ever be found within solitary caution

I wouldn't undo time. I may wish some experiences had happened differently or had never come about, but the road I took is inextricably me. I do hope that I have learned enough to go forward and continue what I set out on this long road for in the first place: to live courageously, to build precious community, to uncover memories buried, to know love firsthand--not just love, but liberation, interdependence, intimacy. My heart, the heart of chosen family to lead me on so that I may find why time could not undo me.

My heroes are born in pain.
And in pain they seek beauty.
By their hands they find it.
They spill their blood and tears into words.
Then they pick up their swords.
They march forward, resolved
If no one else will start, they will.

But my heroes are not heroes because they sacrificed themselves.
They are not heroes because they bled.
They didn't do anything that you couldn't do.
They are heroes because even in their pain they gave a **** and asked you to join them.

Imagine what we could do if you actually did.

I see you lying in bed, overwhelmed with feeling.
I see you giddy, smiling so wide you can't keep your eyes open.
I see you holding space for the ones that matter to you.
And I'm lucky that one of those is me.

I see you someday, barefoot in the grass.
I see you standing in your radiance beneath the autumn glow.
I see you poised to speak, with a crown of flowers on your head.
And I'm lucky that you'd speak to me.

I see you every day, dreaming more and more.
I see you chasing after your desires.
I see you accepting all the love that comes to you.
And I'm lucky that the love you take's from me.

You see me everyday the way I see you.
You see the tears of joy and pain.
You see every bit of me.
And I'm lucky that the one I see is you.

Burn it all, they said.
If we can't have her, then leave her dead.
They set about to light a fire.
They torched it all to sate their ire.

We left her there to gather dust.
Leave it all in others' trust.
And since we left her we surmise
She must prefer those other guys.

They said all this and set alight
The town they once held in delight.
They hated the new lives within
So they razed the town to **** with them

Oh it's been a long time,
Not nearly long enough.
I never wanted you to cry.
I never meant to harm our love.

I didn't ask for you to go.
I didn't ask for you to be.
I didn't ask for you to rush.
I just needed you to want me.

What happened to the sun?
It seemed so suddenly to fade.
When you cried I didn't run,
But it seems you slipped away.

I wasn't looking to replace you, and
I greatly hoped it wouldn't break you, but
I found the things that I was missing.
You didn't have to go.
I just needed you to want me.