Stuck between falling and climbing. I'm tired of knowing truths that don't line up with being me. Picture this room- crowded and worn, messy with glass from broken hearts. I watched them come and go. I knew the risks they took, and just like that,
*I took them too.

GOD IS NOT DEAD
LOVE IS NOT GONE
I AM STILL HERE
STILL FIGHTING ON

I am wounded
By the world and by myself
Thinking too much and hurting too deeply
I never did figure out how to heal.

I am wounded by the planes and the oceans
That go on even when I am lost between them.

What I’ve seen is no excuse to stop living
Yet why have I done exactly that?
I am wounded
And I am afraid that no doctor can save me now.

If I said that I was broken
Would you believe me?
Would you find a way to leave me?
I am wounded
And I am shattered by the glass left on the floor.
Too many pieces to pick up
Too many cuts to care.

I am wounded by the receding tide
That promised to come again in the morning.
I am hurt because it never did
Not while I was there.

I am wounded
The words have left me dry.
Now I am
Stumped by a world that forgot I was here.

It wasn't that I was lost
It wasn't that I was found
It wasn't about my falling
Until I hit the ground.

I remember what it felt like
To fall.
I remember the rain on my face
And the wind whipping through my hair.
I remember the way my heart dropped into my stomach,
How I felt so unsafe
But secure.
Just the swirling clouds to drop me,
the ground that sped towards me,
the people that tried to stop me-
Then you.
Then you caught me.

Elaine, Elaine, with no last name.
I can still hear them. Turns out I'm just really good at listening.
Identity, Identity, Identity. Who are you? Where do you come from? What's your name?
Three of the world's easiest questions and I didn't have an answer for any.
Elaine, Elaine, she's quite the shame, that sad little girl with no last name.
They tell me I'm seventeen. What do they know? They know what I know; not a **** thing.
Elaine, Elaine, she's all to blame, that shame of having no last name.
Maybe it wasn't my fault. But then again, maybe it always was.
Elaine, Elaine, down the drain, she's the one that's all to blame, she's the one that bears the shame
of having lost her own last name.

I thought I could run
from myself and from my guilt
I thought I could hide
from all the hate I've built.
I thought I could lie
about my life and about myself
I thought I could push
all my fear on a shelf.
I thought I could live
a life without knowing
I thought I could move
and not see where I'm going.
But what I see
Is a past full of violence-
and now I am here
Sitting in Silence

leaving for the years
staying for the tears
loving for the girl
living for the world
hating for the time
paying for the dime
watching all the mud
knowing in your blood
laughing with a friend
dying in the end.

Empty rooms
And empty things
Are about as Violent
As they seem.
Empty eyes
and Empty screams-
This room is full of
Empty dreams

Could it be
That while I was trying to find myself
In the mirror
I lost sight of everything that was worth finding
Out here

She was lost, long ago.

Wandering through the woods, wandering high and low.

Wishing for some miracle, wishing for a chance-

Plucked from a dream, she set off
To change what could've been.

Rolling hills that tried to stop her
Simply rolled away.

Angry seas that sought to trap her
Were calmed and soothed that day.

Fights that raged and roared around her
Were brought to a steady still.

Rushing winds that ripped at her
Fell down and refused to ****.

That day was spent in agony

The wanderers that tried to be

She could run past every one

She ran and ran into the sun

Until her journey ran astray

She fell

and watched

the dreams that day.

I woke up to the sound of a house breaking.
And I ran to hold the door frame, I ran to stop the world.

For all the strength I had, I didn't think it was enough.
For all the heart I had, I knew it couldn't save it.

And while mommy was asleep

While daddy counted sheep

I strained to stay alive, caught in their mortal war. Windows shattered, breaking lives, the fire sputtered out.
I couldn't be where they needed me-
I could only stay at home.

And while sister spent her nights

Brother left his lights

I strained to keep it whole.

Cracks appeared
Devil's here
I tried to fix it now.
A torn up wall
I watched it fall
I let the world destroy.