I never thought it would come to this. My whole life I have spent pleasing others in an attempt to gain their approval. You, however, I know would still smile at me even if I slit your throat and watched the blood run down your skin.

Nobody has ever seen me like you do. To you, I am a goddess, bathed in buttery light. I am ethereal as I writhe beneath you. But in my eyes I am nothing and I cannot understand how you see me with petal blinding you.

For a while, I didn't want you. You were too nice and I like my men to toss me away. But now I feel something odd. I worry if I hurt you in any way. I'm not sure if I've fallen for you, but there is something in me that wants to shelter you from the world.

It's a constant occurrence.

My skin stretches so tightly against my flesh that I want to peel it off like the skin of a green apple.

I want to inhale it all, but I stop myself. It might taste good at the start, but by the end I am vomiting and crying. The sugar is too much and it burns my organs. It pumps through my veins, mingling with my blood. Now my insides are jelly made with sugar and blood.

I want this to end, but I signed that contract 4 years ago. I'm not allowed to leave.

we never speak about it
it just happens while we lay beneath the sheets
one hand moves to my hips, gripping me close to his, pressing himself against me
and then our clothes are off, and his lips explore my body, eyes focused and calm
mine are wide like the hesitant deer I am, my mouth open in a perfect little circle, noises releasing like smoke into the air
his moans are like music to me, but he is so quiet and his walls are built so high that it is impossible to break

i want to talk about it. i want to hear about his day and his mood, but i suppose his head between my legs will have to do.

drowning in a sea of stars and lavender

you fill my head with dreams of forests and our feet on ice

    you text me at 2 am and I pray I am the first thing on your mind

but I'm trying not to let my red string get knotted up in your fingers

   that you play so carefully with