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sitting with stars,
we sip on silences —

between soft sighs,
twinkling eyes, and
pleasant pitter-patterings —

we drip kindness,
rain drops, and
endless moonrises
Clicketyclick —

sickly screens,
shooting
sixty
picture-frames
per second

Tickety ticktock, rapid-fire
photon cannons,
ripping holes
through our
faces

rectangles,
riddled with anxiety ridden
read scripts

the resultant
retinal scarring

Wicketywicked, weary eyes,
dripping with serrated pixels

triple dotted,
typing-awareness indicators
create silly suspenses,
inducing temporal
dramas,
emotional
micro-traumas

every second a slice
through my,
now practically nonexistent,
patience

Am I a server,
or am I a servant?

Eyes, sunken, with
withered skin

I'm waiting for my fix

Ding-ding
Bloop!
Pinggg
Here comes the dopamine! —

—Clicketyclick
fuzzy buzzy flickering light fixtures
court me for days -
tired, unlatched
and in a daze

broken hinges hang from
untapped doorways,
painted with
shattered looking glasses
and laces overthrowing
unseen faces
crawling at ungodly paces,

blind red rages boil over
onto sentient pages to die
on unlit stages,
reeking with rows
of rotting audiences,
decomposing millions of
masterpieces.

sleepless death
undertaken,
like a sorry soul,
to a hole new level
six breaths under

reborn into a dogs tail
clenched between
it's own teeth.
You are not real
anymore,
you are not mine
forever;

instead, you are
disintegrating
as I strip apart the memories
and shake out
the sadness -
not a real
sadness, but an emptiness
I may never understand

so I'll write until I do,
or until I've erased
the last traces of you
I do hope these memories expire in time.
i will wade out
                        till my thighs are steeped in burning flowers
I will take the sun in my mouth
and leap into the ripe air
                                       Alive
                                                 with closed eyes
to dash against darkness
                                       in the sleeping curves of my body
Shall enter fingers of smooth mastery
with chasteness of sea-girls
                                            Will i complete the mystery
                                            of my flesh
I will rise
               After a thousand years
lipping
flowers
             And set my teeth in the silver of the moon
I
  hoped
             the
                  thoughts
                                  would seep out with the blood.
There was a time
when we had the most innocently
beautiful romance.
It was something you'd see in the movies -
but none of this "Fault in Our Stars" ****,
but like... "The Notebook."
Which is still ****,
but it's the best comparison I can think of.

You came to me in the month of November,
and we were instantly taken with each other.
You said, in your amazingly adorable German accent,
"I'll only be here for a year,"
And I pushed that to the back of my head to save until
later,
So perhaps it didn't seem as if we were counting
precious moments
in between easy conversation.

December came,
and snow fell with it,
as we continued to mirror the delicate
flakes descending on our noses
as we sled down neighborhood hills,
and you told me stories of your grandparent's house,
how knitting with your grandma was still a work in progress,
and the sock you attempted to make
looked more like a potato sack.
But this interaction,
you behind me,
I hugging onto your legs,
was the closest interaction I'd had
for the longest time.

That night,
I slept with you,
in the most innocent use of the phrase.
And when I woke, there you were,
gently stroking the small of my back,
smiling sleepily.
I wanted to wake up like this every time.

People would see us walking downtown together in spring,
and would sense our vibrancy,
and smile as we were lost in our own world.
We never spoke of being a "couple,"
and we never held hands or anything like that,
we just had a beautiful relationship.
And for once in my life,
even to this day,
I search for a man who was as respectable as you.

You left on an afternoon of June,
and told me you never kissed me because
"Loving you and leaving you are two things I cannot bear."
You returned two summers later.
And left again in late August.
Maybe one day you will stay.
The one man I've said "I love you" to and meant it.
etched
under my skin
flame roses
blister

scars
on the
palms of my
hands bleed
stigmata
thorns

my eyes
freeze to crystal
the tears around
my neck are
fashioned
in lace-black
obsidian

my lips
the color of amber
and fire
are vows
never
broken

my moons
are scarlet
my stars
are cold
my sun
is silver
and

beaten

gold



SoulSurvivor
Catherine Jarvis
(C) September 16, 2014
This just emerged.
I saw a photo
of a burning rose
and thought, "Aha! There's a poem
here somewhere!"
I saw the rose on the site of
Deborah Brooks Langford
Put on another record
Now let's lay together
You say it doesn't matter
Yet can't you hear the faint shatter?
Count back from ten
Please let's start again
I'm sick of this constricting quarantine,
baby can't you see?
You're my dopamine.
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