Dear silly boy,

As sad as I am for me, I am more sad for you
I don't think you understand what you had to lose.

You won't get it today and probably not tomorrow
But time will teach you a lesson and you'll fall victim to true sorrow
You keep yourself estranged from every real emotion. For you Actual true love- is a preposterous idea and you a victim of it- is even more so.
But-
One day you'll see- All I had to give. All i was willing to share. The value of that love . And when you do it will be too late. Only then will you understand
all that was in your possession-

the crux of it is
it will no longer be yours to possess
And by denying yourself that you'll recognize you did the very thing you thought you were protecting yourself from:
Being Vulnerable.
Being able to be hurt.

That was the true difference between you and me.
I gave in. I was hurt.
It did break me. But I learned how to pick up my pieces. I learned to fix myself.
I felt that grief, I evolved past it.
You never allowed yourself to do the same.
Because of this- I feel more sad for you then I ever will for me

Sincerely,
The Girl You Should Have Loved

Dress to impress
My face does the rest
Walking with silence
That comes off quite violent
in my own mind
Swept up with their childish
But not truly innocence
Losing my sense
And grip on the world
Let them imagine I'm still just a girl
Let me tell you my world
Isn't a thing you'd imagine

When I was small
I walked on fairy dust and
my dreams were as tall
as skyscrapers towering
above the universe
inside of me, was the galaxy.
I was born of the cosmos,
full of light and love
passionate in my quest to
give this to others.
But as I grew my star began to fade,
stars need love and light to survive
and deprived of both my blazing fire
transformed into weak candlelight.
At school I had learnt it was easier
to hide your light
than to stand out as different
and be extinguished in an instant.
So I kept myself to myself
at the back of the class,
knowing the answers but not
shouting them out.
I daydreamed, and doodled
stars on the corners
of my books, all the while
I could hear the universe
calling out to me to trust,
that we are all born of this
cosmic stardust.

cartographer of my heart
there are days when I will not be easy to read
I will hold myself upside down and backwards
buried beneath bruised knuckles and cheap fear

and yet late at night I find you saying
“you still make sense to me”
leaving landmarks on my skin
signs that say “you are here"
and here
and here

trace the land lines in my palms
and know they will always guide you home

O Captain! my Captain! our fearful trip is done,
The ship has weathered every rack, the prize we sought is won,
The port is near, the bells I hear, the people all exulting,
While follow eyes the steady keel, the vessel grim and daring;
But O heart! heart! heart!
O the bleeding drops of red,
Where on the deck my Captain lies,
Fallen cold and dead.

O Captain! my Captain! rise up and hear the bells;
Rise up—for you the flag is flung—for you the bugle trills,
For you bouquets and ribboned wreaths—for you the shores a-crowding,
For you they call, the swaying mass, their eager faces turning;
Here Captain! dear father!
This arm beneath your head!
It is some dream that on the deck,
You’ve fallen cold and dead.

My Captain does not answer, his lips are pale and still;
My father does not feel my arm, he has no pulse nor will;
The ship is anchored safe and sound, its voyage closed and done;
From fearful trip the victor ship comes in with object won;
Exult O shores, and ring O bells!
But I, with mournful tread,
Walk the deck my Captain lies,
Fallen cold and dead.