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1 knife
2 hands
3 tears
4 regrets
5 wishes
6 people loved and lost
7 friends gone
8 souls circling
9 times I tried
the 10th time I will succeed

too many lives changed..

too many to count.
just thinking... if only BB was here....
  May 2017 bye lmao
allie
i just need something
to brighten my days
and make them seem
less bleak
so i don't drink bleach
and call it a day.
i just need a little something to make me happy.
  May 2017 bye lmao
allie
The words that are covered in darkness
crawl up my legs and into my mind
and slowly break my thoughts.

I can no longer burden those around me
or shed my reflection on them.
No longer will I drag them down
from their high place in life,
and stoop them down to my level.

Tears leave my eyes as I enter the room
that holds my death.
I do not know the effect it will have,
nor do I care.
All I can think is the depressing darkness
that floods my mind every time I close my eyes.

Yes, it will hurt.
But nothing can hurt more than my very existence.
So I sing the tune that enters my mind
as I slit my wrists.

*"Bye, bye, little birdy. I'll miss you so."
Written for a friend. M, I love you so much. I know you don't have an account, so maybe that's why I wrote this here. Please don't go. You have no clue how much you mean to us.
Nails on my skin
you pull me back
the only thing keeping me from death
you whisper,
don't go..
But you let go
my arm falling limply to my side
I shake my head slightly
and you nod
Tears streak down your red face
but you know
that I have to go

I remember,
looking up
I could see the shining stars
twinkling happily
out my old bedroom window
If only I could be as happy as them
Clouds cover the stars tonight
coating the world in a navy slur
But I hold this knife now
taken from my kitchen
hidden in my sock drawer
And I stand here
feeling stronger than ever
hidden so no one will find me
I can't deal with this
I don't care about the abuse
I know you won't miss me
I write this to inform you
that I was never happy on this earth
I might be on the next
No one will know
No one will care
So today I draw my knife
and I press it to my chest
as one for the billions
No one will miss me
My hand shakes
droplets of blood fall
mixing with tears
I have to
Don't worry about me,

**I'll be fine
From your BFFs (AM, BB, CC)
Don't go..

— The End —