I live in a constant fear of what I might lose tomorrow.
The thought of waking up one day and everything I thought was worth living for is just taken away like that.

I live in a constant fear of losing who I truly am while trying to chase my happiness.
I fear that one day I might look in the mirror and not recognise who I am.

The distance between you and me
Feels like the distance
Between heaven and hell
The distance cannot even be measured
It can only be felt
It can be only understood
By those who experience it

The distance between us
Only proves not everything is meant to be
I want to believe that forever exists
But our forever only lasted
For a couple of months
We had a limited infinity
Now left to walk with
Nothing but what used to be our "forever"

I'm afraid of being alone
For all my torture begins there
That's where all my thoughts come alive
And speak to me
Makes sense?
It doesn't to me either

They all gather around me
And begin a convention
Of my life from its very
Beginning to its present
The constant reminder of
What a failure I am

And all these thoughts
In just a matter of seconds.
As I hold my head in fear of
What my life has become
As I begin to peel my flesh off
As I begin to lay a knife near my chest

I wake up from this nightmare
But how can it be a nightmare
If its how I feel and think
All day everyday?

Let the life I live be only guided by the wind and moon light.
Let it be blissful and simple.
Let me be so rich with love that ever encounter is greeted with a kiss.

If only you knew the damage caused
a few small words said and forgotten
days and hours of painful analysing
awake late at night, cold sweat haze
reliving, re-enacting, in my mind
caught in a time trap, held on repeat
left on my own, locked in this hurt
I hear my voice repeat as I cry
eternally asking the question, why?

Faith has a pulse that never stops beating