To live life our way
Learning the how and why
and what of social norms
Conforming to perceived ideals
Striving to fit in
Losing our individuality

Is there strength in numbers?

Am I part of something bigger than me
Bigger than you
Or us?
Should we desire an independent life
To take control
And be our own man, woman, child?

Is there strength in numbers
or is autonomy stronger?

I've fallen to mapping
the deepest parts of my forehead
again. these days it feels like
I'm climbing the jungle gym of my mind,
clearing away cobwebs and
emptying
dust-covered boxes into my lap,
searching yellowed scrolls and broken crates
for diamonds.
it's not that I feel far from
the present, just as if
I'm swimming through it,
my head the only part of me
above the water.

it's been a little while but
I am still only climbing,
praying, and
scribbling words
on a familiar page.

shadows surround in silent solitude
scattered thoughts scrutinise
as serpentine spirit speculates
a skewed sentiment of sorrow
– sensitivity and sympathy
sprinkled sequins of slanted light
– stir sentient sight
a spectre summoned

I think of you
the sun shines
close my eyes

imagine

you at my side
inseparable
always young in memory
warm sand between our toes
building castles
hand in hand running into the waves

always laughing

I’d die to protect you
–  my brother

but you left first
now you remain
forever young

you,
the song i put on my tongue,
the poem i whispered to my pen,
the love i breathed in my heart...

if your life’s a vacuum with empty shades of grey
and no one there beside you to add colour to your day

trapped within four walls in an isolated room
the chill air and the darkness suggestive of a tomb

curtains drawn at windows, locks to keep you safe
a self-constructed prison, and no hope of escape

the phone as dead as you, disconnected from the wall
and technicoloured mailshots lie scattered in the hall

through the tiny window gleams kaleidoscopic light
dancing on the tiled floor until day meets the night

do you live in shades of grey?