when you suddenly realise your in love with your best friend.
the one that was there when you were in yr 8 and were going through your "I’m ‘creative’ with my fashion" phase
the one who was there when you liked all those guys and embarrassed yourself in front of them
the one who was there when you developed that eating disorder and hated everything about yourself
the one who was there when you became the very ***** you never thought you’d become
the one who was still there after all the **** you went through with your dad
the one who helped pick you up from the ground when life kicked the living **** out of you
the one who you never thought you’d ever find attractive.
the one who made you laugh until you cried
the one who creeped up on you without you really noticing
the one who swept you off your feet even when he didn’t want to
the one who you know you’ll find very hard to stop loving.

Turning signal lights flashing like uncoordinated fairy lights
Beams of street lights conforming to the windscreen of the car
Radio static filling your ears like bees in an angry hive
Petrol fumes disappearing into the night like clouds
High beams temporarily blinding you like the sun does when it wakes up

Faces blurred as you pass like birds in fast motion
Anonymous. Distant.
They do not know me, nor I them.

Heaven, like nature it is wild
Yet at the same time beautiful
Loud and yet speaks with a whisper
Powerful yet touches you with all the gentleness in the world

It cannot be tamed
And yet we always try to hold it in our palms
It is touchable and yet some people spend their whole lives without seeing it

It is there and then it is not.
It is ours and yet only through His Grace.

I've been searching for you
Under the bed and atop the universe
You've left an imprint that I see
Even when I close my eyes

I searched until I collapsed
Into a tangle of sheets and tears
Emotions binding me to myself
My mind a jumble of paperback books and okays

I'm sliding into oblivion

Whispy whisps of whispering clouds patrol the country side in search of space
Filling every hole and pocket of sunlight
Turning the world a never ending grey
Objects coming to greet me only to rudely leave

Soft, still, quiet I know this is beautiful
Nothing moving, all creation stopped still in sight of this wonder
Dancing slowing in front of my face I can't touch it but I can feel it
It's in my hair and caressing my face
I can smell it fresh, clean, ominous
No escape and somehow not wanting to
I am transported.

some call it clouds, fog,
I call it beauty