If I keep dishing out poems then maybe some day you will know them
Maybe I will be able to feel free
Maybe one day I will be able to be me
Maybe I will have all of the things I need and I will not have anything stopping me
Practicing for the future making sure I get what I need
Making sure that I will feed me

Quit staring at me is how I feel
Look the other way
I honestly keep seeing you look my way and when I look up you look away
I do not know if it's envy
I do not know if it is jealousy
I do not know if you are scared of me
All I know is I want to breathe
I can not do that normally
As long as you keep staring at me
Let me be

I can't think of what to write when you are around
I can not focus and I can not think
I know it is horrible because I am working on my poetry so this one is ****** because I do not know what to write.

It is best to relieve your stress when you are experiencing a dark or confusing moment
I understand that not everyone is meant to get along with me
I understand that not everyone is meant to love me but I am meant to love me so that is what I am doing
I am taking myself out of toxic places and I am growing
I am doing better I am making something of myself and everything is great I have my wealth
Everything is fine
Everything is fine

I will do more
I will do better
I will have a positive mind
A written letter
I will work on me and I won't stop
I'll look back once I am at the top
Once I have reached a goal
I have so many
I will accomplish all of them
I have plenty

Building a vocabulary is something on my to-do list
Not missing you not missing me or anyone who has anything to do with it
I want to get away with it
I want to do better
I want to believe that there is more
I want it to be special
I will write my poetry whether you approve or not
I will write my poetry and only stop when I get too hot
Or too cold or too hungry
I won't have time to spend all of my money
I will sit and write
I will be alright
I will teach the kids that you must be healthy at night

I wish that I could get rich off writing poetry and ****
I know that wishing is no better than actually doing it
I understand the ways of the world
If I dare interrupt then it'd cast a spell
One I can undo
Only if I am good to you
Only if I share my pain
In order to do no more than gain

We remember the best souls when they are long gone
We remember how they smiled and the sound of their laugh
Their scent
We remember the way we felt around them
We remember
We don't want it back we simply remember

I am really upset
It's really complex
All of these memories it's hard to forget
All the times we have spent
All the love put into it
All the scary sad days and the temporary happiness

I was following my passion but then I tried acid
I moved on I lived
I skipped all of my classes

No longer alive
Completely dead inside
These are the feelings we'll feel for an entire life time
Nothing strange goes unheard and for every worm there is a bird
We can't contain this happiness
We can't love and see what's next
Love blinds us and puts us to the test
Why do we stray away from what we know is best?

I have to write a poem because you are a stupid man and honestly you will never be able to understand I have so much hate towards the things that I should I gave you so much love and if you never left there's no doubt I'd stop that I wouldn't

four seasons to go through.
four children to care for.
four figures a year
wendy's 4 for 4

I'm not human, I was built more beautifully
The arrogance the confidence the stability
It is all we want it is what we all need

It is so uncomfortable to write about that bad **** but to hold it in affects my magic I manifest myself away from the madness and I find peace only to not be glad in it because some things are unsolved and the pain still evolves
How to not be embarrassed of this painful mess
How to act like I don't care and forget about the rest
How to find comfort in these actions
How to find it okay to listen the music I keep slappin

Out of touch with reality
How to snap back?
I don't know how you see
Everything is haunting me
Not only the past but what lies ahead of me
It is not bright it is dark it is sticky

even if there were a million reasons to stay you would most likely leave
It isn't anything bad you're just like me
But if some other girl would ask you stay you'd do it because home is so far away
It is easier to have this temporary comfort it fits me better than my favorite t shirt

I still have to recover
I still have to wait
I still have to witness you go through that pain
I can easily block you but the pictures keep popping up
I never knew I followed so many people who are hitting that rock
You brought so much hurt and it hurts to blame you but it's the reality no one can change you and if the woman who is meant to be with you was standing there in front of your face, you'd probably turn her down all because of her race and you'd choose the next one because she seems like she is more fun she has no ID no sense of well being she doesn't give a **** about anything but you still care you want to be with her then go
go if you dare

I hardly ever make any sense but that is because I am not trying to
I don't want to be the reason that she has been lied to
I won't be a second choice
I won't be a choice at all
I am not meat or an outfit at the mall
I will not fit you seasonally
I won't stay just because you want to be with me
You aren't needing me
It makes no sense to keep me sticking around if all you are doing is dicking around with ******* and hoes who have nothing

you couldn't walk with me but I can see that you walk with her
I hope that she can teach you something I hope that you can learn
How to treat a woman and how not to burn
the people who loved you before
the people who have given more
than what they give themselves and what they give their families
I hope she gives you the strength to do better you'd think
that you would know by now but it is over
there are times where i think you are changed but it is over

You shame me in public
You think it's funny
It's not funny
You remind me of a child reaching for the candy on the top shelf
You'll never reach it so you call out for help
And this makes me angry
Because if I don't help you, you shame me
All I can ever think about is all the times that you have played me
You can't keep a woman for ****
You can't hold down ****
You leave her the responsibilities even if she's going through it
I feel sorry for the next woman you end up with

I won't ever let you treat me this was again
I can never even claim you as a friend
Ever
You have made a mistake and I told you this isn't easy to fake
Everything that you do makes me think
Maybe I am not the crazy one
Maybe you drove me crazy for fun
It's something you think about on a daily
Something you do to shame me

I'll explain it from his perspective because from mine it seems to be less hectic
He had his days where there were soft blues and greys
He had it made where he could have anything he'd ever wanted
He loved so much it tore him up
He became evil and mean
It's his fault they fought and fought until he was feeling haunted
He turned to drugs and loved them much
Forgetting those who loved him
He turned to drugs because they were the only ones to keep him feeling important
From his perspective I'm cool calm and collected
That made him insane he couldn't believe how calm I was and he became vain

Backflips on my mind
The summer is gone I'm off my grind
What have I done these past 6 months besides complain and whine
There was nothing I did to help the kid there was nothing I did to become stronger
I just stayed sober until the year was over and started to actually feel this boulder
I've been carrying it on my back I've been feeling so insane I've been making moves and spending time trying to control everything

My writing has not been good at all and I think it's because I'm distracted
Every time I close my eyes my brain is doing backflips
I compliment myself because nobody else is going to do it
I compliment myself because everyone else is going through it

When I met you it was different
The next day you had me in the kitchen
You kissed me and you loved me
The next day you didn't want me
The next week I found you on the floor where we cooked and played Love Galore by SZA but the picture is bigger I never knew what you were into until I saw you on the floor

You are young you are sweet but you need to learn a few more things
You're still growing up I think and that's fine just don't involve me

She thinks it's funny that I rhyme
I think it's sad that she wastes time
It could all be better for the both of us
But what was said will never be undone

Look at this mixed ***** speaking Spanish
She's a rich ***** you see the karats
She's on her **** ***** and she ain't sharing
You gonna get hit ***** if you keep staring

Daddy issues is really a thing
I only feel great when I'm the one celebrating

His smile is so fake and I think that it's okay because nobody notices anyway
But I do and I wish that I can fix I wish that I could help but honestly I am more worried about myself because I am important but so is he he is important he is worried about his family and I'm stuck here in the heat standing and laughing and wondering why I let myself slip away and there is nothing I can do in this case there is nothing I can say to change the way that things are going I am alone but I am soaring in the minds of the lonley because I am there too it may not seem like it but I am and it's not okay to smile away and neglect the pain

We're both scared
Nothing is original no more
All we do is fear
No one is for real no more

You have me at my saddest state
You make me want to start to hate
I love you and it hurts all over I love you and I can never get over this pain you treated this as if it were a game I can't believe you I can't believe that you left me here to suffer all alone with no other I need you and you know that but you have to watch your own back I get it but it's not fair I did everything for you I was always there I held your hand I rubbed your back I fed you and bathed you when you could not I loved you I love you there is nothing much more to say I loved you I love you and you just walked away

All that I have left are these flashing sad memories
I think of you at your best and then you start to think of me
We were cool and we had it good until you started to leave
Then everything turned to **** baby how could this be
I need to live and start my life I need your help I need my guy
But you went and left you have gone away
I need you the most and you're not here to stay
What can I say what can I do when all I want is to be with you

I was looking for you and I couldn't find you
I kept on looking and I still couldn't find you
I looked elsewhere and I couldn't find you there
I finally gave up and found someone else
Then you turned around and stood there
Letting me know that you've been here all along
I don't get why you kept hiding
We could have stayed together

Things have been better, I can not complain
I've done too much and I'm very ashamed
This life it just ***** when you're living in vain
I have this Denny's bill and this coffee stain
Will she even remember my name?
Did I try too hard?
Did I f* things up ?
Why is she playing hard to get ? Am I what she wants?
Maybe not

It feels so weird because I can't let you go
You can leave me and I can leave you but I'm never going to let you go
You're my man
My *** calls for your hand
I can't let you go
My darling don't you know
I can't leave you
You are part of my life
I can't leave you
Even when things are wrong they're right because you're my man
Understand ?

I always seem to hate the things I love at some point
I don't get it
I wish you were here with me
No kidding
I ended up hating you
But you didn't
I saw you changing and it hurt me I was depressed
And you deserted me
You left me all cold and worried
You never loved me you were just *****

I'm just really upset
It's really complex
All of these memories it's hard to forget
All the time we have spent
All the love put into it
All the scary sad days and the temporary happiness

It isn't you it isn't me it's the both of us
We had our times we shared our tea we laughed and we cursed
Today's for you
Today's for me
I love you dearly

I get so ******* mad at you but when I'm lying down next to you it feels better than being alone and cold and when you hold me and look at me with bright eyes I feel hopeful and I forget the bad

I wish that we could just vibe
I wish that you would turn off this tv
I can't stand its unstable light
I wish that I could renew my mind
And find someone who is more like my kind

Getting the urge to write again
Not online but with a journal and pen
There's something about the feeling it brings
When you can just let out everything

Not everything should make you feel good about yourself
You'd be in a better position if you cared about your health
Take initiative is what they all say
Stop lying around and quit being afraid
Imagine summer and all of the good things
Imagine winter and all the love it brings
From strangers and from family

All the parties all the drinks
It was not worth anything
I found you, you found me
It seems that we are meant to be
You love me
I love you
Death will let us know when we're through
That's the only thing though
Not these parties not these cheap hoes
We will last I'm sure of that
And if we don't, I'm sure you'll be back

What the **** is going on ?
I keep making promises and you're gone
I can't keep my word because I'm so sad inside
I'm so messed up it's hard to hide
It gets harder and harder every day
It stays hard until it goes away
I am still here for you
I wish that you were here too

It would be nice but that's not our love
It'd be nice if he didn't push and shove
It would be cool if I could get that degree
It'd be strange to have more company
It'd be great if I could feel more free
It would be great if I didn't feel a thing

I wish that you could write a beautiful song
I wish that we never ever went wrong
I miss talking to you so sweetly
I miss the way you treated me like a human being
I can't stand the way you treat me like a dog
I'm so upset and my anger is turning into a thick black fog
I would like to leave but there is no where to go
I'd like to stay but there's no love to grow

Because when you're serious things seem to go well
Because when you're serious everything just falls into place
Being serious seems to prevent all issues but making things better is what it doesn't do
It's good to do something crazy every once in a while
It's great to be the reason that your lover smiles

I'm so glad
That I can finally be happy with who I am
I'm so glad
I have the strength to let go of what I once had