as you try and try and keep on trying
to find out how much my heart
is dedicated to you
you, my dear, begin to get frustrated because you just don't know
you just don't know how much I ache when I'm away from you
you just don't know how broken my heart is
when you are hurt
you just don't know how much I yearn for your hugs and kisses and for you to
hold my hand
you don't know what I'd sacrifice
to just know that you're okay
you don't know that I'd go to the ends of the earth
just to hear your voice
you just don't know how much I love you
and you most certainly never will

A thousand different images
Flicker through my mind,
But the one I seek most desperately
Has found some place to hide.

I know I had it with me,
It’s always been right here,
I only had to think your name
For your image to appear.

It’s tried to slip away before
And I’ve grasped with all my might,
But as the months changed into years,
I lost the strength to fight.

I've known that this was coming,
But somehow am unprepared,
The signs have been so subtle,
Yet I knew that they were there.

It started with your piercing eyes,
How the blue would fade each day,
And your features became less definite
As you slowly slipped away.

But still I thought I had more time,
If only with your likeness,
I never thought I’d wake today
To such devastating blindness.

I’ve tried and tried to call you back,
But there’s nothing I can do,
Your image has left me stranded;
I no longer remember you.

It seems as though,
I am forever saying
Sorry

Sorry this
Sorry that

I have even said sorry
For saying sorry
Too much

I wish I could say,
I don't care anymore,
You won't hear 'sorry'
From me again

But that will never happen

So here's another sorry
For everyone

I'm sorry
If I'm annoying

I'm sorry
If I'm naive

I'm sorry
If I write too much

I'm sorry
If I am pessimistic

I'm sorry
I'm sorry
I swear,
I'm sorry

But now,
I'm done apologizing

I just, want you here, just like this.
Hell, what can i say,It's always been this way.
we connect randomly.(is this seat taken?)
break off.(stupid boy|girl segregation)
diverge. (across bus aisles)
recconnect. (hugs before you leave, subtle smiles)
risk.(hopped, hid, rode again in my seat those last few miles) .
create boundaries.(best friend, I'm with her, you're with him)
overstep(i daydream of you...)
overstep.(i dreamed of you last night...)
overstep (i dreamed of you last night again...)
recreate.(i ignore you when you speak, what was that last thing you said?)
walk on blind faith, a little too quickly.(we took two days to talk this over, two weeks to get into bed)
remember we are friends amidst all this ( i did)
and suddenly all the feelings, (or thoughts spinning in my head)
the ones that are thretening to surge freely through me, (undo me)
no restraint, (undid)
threating to take over my actions, my heart, my affections (am i mislead?)
(theyve already strangled my reason)(I'm brainless, because of you, undead)
experience a subtle but calming shift( smootheeee like thisssss)
when i remember(what we said)
I suddenly understand(this isn't wonderland)
why it is I don't want to leave(friends fight, we are friends)
you mean so much more to me(than i could even begin to express)
than emotions high arguing and a dozennn days ive cried( they are nothing compared to it)
you are my friend, (im beginning to think best)
and well, i just... i want you here, (just like this)

I always care when I am bitter. I always long to see you when it hurts to.
I always fight to the moment i have no more breaths, even when i forget what light is for the clouds above me. Sometimes I stumble when I step, But i always step. I might forget who I am , but it's because I am not who i was. I nearly never say I'm reaching out when i throw out my hand in hopes you'll catch it, but my palms have learned how to fly. I forget yesterday sometimes as soon as the sun sets, But tomorrow is worth it, just like the sun will rise. Love is worth the fight. Love is the only thing that never dies. I only ever wanted violence to keep the peace. I only ever stayed up late to escape sleep/ I only ever tasted fate when i washed your feet. I held a few hearts in my hands before, and i dropped them ,shards of red stained porcelain on the floor. I never was real graceful until you poured me full of grace. I may wear a mask sometimes, but I always long to show you my face, Sometimes i drink something bitter, because to some it's a sweeter taste. I may sit still, because in being slow to anger i win the race. But I'll never give up searching, wandering, and wondering, even if I slow my pace.

That house,
With the paint barely
There, windows so *****
They're no longer
Windows,

Was beautiful once.

Yes, I see her.
Street scars; concrete cuts,
Nothing in her eyes but
The ghosts of morning ******
And her father's endless
Sadness.