I may not have been your grand daughter,
but I loved and respected you like a grand mother.

Every time I visited,
you would rest your hand in mine and say,
When nothing goes right just take a moment and pray,
remember Lord Buddha,
and what his preachings say.

I had just finished one of my exams
and i hear you're gone
i knew everyone wept, wept - a lot.
but I didn't.

as I know,
that you'll be in a better place,
and
that life does not always end at death.
that's what one of Lord Buddha's teachings said.

Chana had a bike
and I had a scooter
she moaned a lot

and I did not
she wore clothes
her mother said

she had to wear
I wore
what was left to wear

from the day before
she loved sweets
and ice lollies

I loved licorice sticks
and sarsaparilla
she  hated vegetables

and meat pies
I hated liver
and fish with eyes

she said
why don't you
go play elsewhere

and leave
my brother to me?
go ask your brother

I said
and then we'll see
he said not her but me

so Chana went off
in a huff
riding her bike

like a bat
from Hell
Chana

was my best friend's
sister not
(thank God) my girl.

कुन्ठित छ जगत् ,आ-आफ्नै दु:ख भुमरी
यो अज्ञानताबाट , हे वुद्ध, पार पाउ कसरी

यहाँ भेटिन्न रे सुख समृद्धि नभई व्यभिचारी
यो मायाबाट, हे वुद्ध, म आफुलाई बचाउ कसरी

म सुन्छु कतै पाइन्न शान्ति, युद्ध नगरी
यो युद्ध, हे वुद्ध, अन्त्य होला के गरी

रोग, मृत्यु, अाशक्ति, शोकले छन् सब व्याकुल
म खोज्छु , हे वुद्ध, तिम्रै शरणमा ज्ञानको मूल

(वुद्धमऽ सरनम् ऽ गक्षामीऽ
धम्ममऽ सरनम्ऽ गक्षामीऽ
संगमऽ सरनम्ऽ गक्षामीऽ)
http://www.buddhanet.net

when you actually get up to get
a coaster for your
coffee cup

when you get annoyed
when visitors put their feet
where they have no
biz being

when you don't look forward
to getting the mail,
for the bad always outweigh
any good

when you think
I really want that,
and with no spacing, no separation,
you think,
nah too expensive

but most of all
you are no longer a child,
when you read
a long and lovely
poem,
think not childishly
"too long,"
instead, think

how lovely, if only there were more...

then you are truly
grown up!

sometimes I wonder what it would be like to meet someone
who would kiss my scars and my nightmares away.
then I remember
that I have myself.

I am strong
and I do not need anyone to rescue me.

"Gabrielle" was a name falling from my grandmother's lips,
as I was rushed to the NICU, the doctors asked my name,
and my grandmother uttered a word that was more like a promise.

Gabrielle is the female form of Gabriel, the angel that brought the news of the birth of Jesus to townspeople, like how my grandmother brought the news of my birth to the hospital waiting room, where my ten year old brother was beginning to understand what it meant to be a man, and my other grandma threw a fit about my new moniker.

The name Gabrielle means "gift from god" and my life itself was a gift as no one knew how long I'd be around to live it, the odds of a tiny baby hooked up to wires and tubes. God gave me the gift of life, as I was born without breathe, my lungs not ready for this world, he gave me a second chance, and I opened up my mouth and cried.

Gabrielle meant a name, and a name meant a life, a family, a place in the world.

Growing up I loathed my name, hopping between nicknames, wishing I had been given anything else for a title, but now I know I would not trade it for the world.

To reject my name is to erase the prayer that fell from my grandmother's lips the moment I was born.